Why did a US writer’s story about wearing a diabetes monitor despite not being diabetic raise Emily Writes’ hackles? The same device could mean life or death for her son, and it costs her thousands of dollars a year. My seven-year-old son is having a diabetic low, hypoglycaemia, as I write this. I’m at work … Read more
‘Kids’ board games are bad. Pretending to be pirates or whatever is bad. Crafts are bad.’ Emily Writes finds a kindred spirit in the parenting memoir of Slate editor Dan Kois. I knew I wanted to read Dan Kois’ book about family life before it had even been written. I’d met him in Wellington. He’d … Read more
Emily Writes and her son pay a visit to the brand new ‘playground’ on the Parliament lawn. I heard there was a new park at Parliament only when I was asked to review it. Somehow it slipped under the radar despite the fact that I care deeply about new playgrounds. As a mum of two … Read more
A few days ago, Fanimals announced it would not be returning for another season. Emily Writes, and her kids, are heartbroken. On my list of things I might write about one day it simply said ‘Fanimals’ sandwiched between ‘How old is BeckBroJack?’ and ‘Is Peter Krause the most dad-like dad on television?’ I wanted to write … Read more
It’s the most beautiful time of the year! Comedian Sera Devcich joins Emily Writes to share the joy and investigate the top 10 toys your ungrateful kids will want this Christmas. It’s November which means it’s officially time for your kids to start bugging you day in and day out about what they want from … Read more
Emily Writes provides an essential guide through the vast world of sex toys and finds something for everyone. Sex toys have well and truly become mainstream. When you buy a toy you’re taking control of your sex life and fully celebrating your body and how wonderful it is. These days, there truly is a sex … Read more
Emily Writes gushes about the show she never thought she’d enjoy so much: the endurance-testing, gravity-defying Australian Ninja Warrior. I never intended to watch Ninja Warrior. I had originally thought it was similar to that show where people get nailed on a course above water. I didn’t really see the appeal of people getting smacked … Read more
I will find you. I will make you pay. Emily Writes wrote this in 2015 when she had a new baby but it still stands. I just want you to know I’m going to find you. A sleep deprived mother is basically more terrifying than Liam Neeson. You need to know that. And you should … Read more
In the first part of a three-part series “What They Don’t Tell You”, Emily Writes looks back at the early days of her children’s lives and wishes she knew that no parent knows what they’re doing. I’m on the very cusp of leaving babyhood far behind me. My youngest child – my baby – turns … Read more
Parents editor Emily Writes on everything wrong with Australian cartoonist Michael Leunig’s latest work on motherhood. Two of the most beautiful and profound friendships I have had in motherhood were conceived in similar ways. When my son would not stop crying, I developed a habit of walking up and down our steep street. I was … Read more
In response to Meghan Markle’s admission that she’s finding it a struggle to be a new mother in the media spotlight, columnists across the globe have banded together to launch a charity to support all those women who ‘have it worse’, Emily Writes can exclusively reveal. Meghan Markle – duchess, new mum, tabloid punching bag … Read more
To the early intervention therapists, to the teachers, to the speech therapists, the occupational therapists, music therapists, diabetes nurses and all: you change the world. When I was married almost a decade ago we had the following reading at our wedding: You are holding up a ceiling with both arms. It is very heavy, but … Read more
Resident capybara reporter Emily Writes checks in on Wellington Zoo’s beautiful new addition. As exclusively reported right here back in April, the capybaras at Wellington Zoo have been going at it like Carmen and Jimmy on Married at First Sight. And now, as can happen following all-day orgies, a baby has arrived. Oh joy of … Read more
Emily Writes watches Netflix’s new US-set series Unbelievable and can’t help be reminded of events back home. I was asked to review Netflix’s new mini-series Unbelievable more than a month ago. After watching the screener over the course of a few nights, it sat on my to-do list for weeks. I would sit down to … Read more
A recording of a toy store Christmas marketing meeting has been leaked to Emily Writes. Despite the danger involved, she has chosen to release these tapes for the benefit of parents. The following will chill you to the bone. I knew it had to be released when it turned up on my front door wrapped … Read more
For the first time a universal international standard for sex toys is being considered. Emily Writes goes balls deep to see what New Zealand’s biggest adult retailer and the observer to the Project Committee thinks. Stats on just how many people own sex toys are hard to come by (no pun intended). But there’s no … Read more
On the eve of her son turning seven, Emily Writes shares a personal essay on birthdays and parenthood. It was dark and I heard a little whimper then: “mama?” A little body quickly climbed into my bed and huddled up closer reaching for my hands. I pulled my arms around him and softly stroked his … Read more
The impact of pregnancy and birth on the body is immense, yet we rarely discuss the ways it impacts women’s lives, says Emily Writes. Before writing this piece on pregnancy and postpartum body changes I ran a short survey that I shared in a small Facebook group. Within half a day I had more than … Read more
Covering Climate Now: Vegan lube? Faux feather strokers? Condoms made by employees paid the living wage? Emily Writes delves into the world of having ethical sex. The Spinoff’s participation in Covering Climate Now is made possible thanks to Spinoff Members. Join us here! There are many upsides to being vegan, but when it comes to … Read more
A patronising, snide and all-round awful opinion column tried to guilt the celebrity couple for giving birth at home, and Emily Writes is not having it. If you ever want to write an opinion column, I’m pretty sure I’ve found the absolute best way to end it if you know full well it’s a piece … Read more
No show has ever delivered more and better sex than True Blood. Emily Writes looks back on a trashy high-art masterpiece. This content is brought to you by NEON – where all seasons of True Blood are streaming now. It was the scene in the basement that did it for me. Sex swing? Check. Alexander … Read more
Emily Writes on love and fear and hope at her son’s hospital bed. I hate horror films with monsters in them. I am skilled at fearing almost everything in my day-to-day life so I find little joy in being professionally scared in a cinema. I fear almost everything from bee stings (I’ve never been stung … Read more
Roll Red Roll is a brutal, painfully illuminating documentary on the Steubenville High School rape case, a shocking crime that made headlines worldwide. Emily Writes reviews. This review discusses rape and sexual violence August 11, 2012: two teenage boys rape an unconscious teenage girl as two of their peers watch and take photos on their … Read more
When Emily Writes reviewed a life-changing sex toy, the response from orgasm-starved women was huge. So why are so many having so few orgasms, and what can be done? For the last two years I’ve been running a pretty small – about 600-odd member – group for mostly New Zealand women to talk about sex … Read more
Over 400 doctors, most specialising in child health, have signed an open letter to the coroner expressing concerns about a judgement which blamed alcohol in breast milk for the death of an infant. Update 13/08: The open letter to the coroner has now been submitted with a total of 727 doctors’ signatures. Sapphire Rose and … Read more
An exclusive interview with the principled principal who is leading the resistance to long-haired lads at high school. A 13-year-old boy taking Auckland Grammar School to court over his hair was in the news last week. Some people might say it’s wild that in 2019, when young people are facing a future that’s so damn … Read more
Public health campaigns constantly encourage parents to have their children walk to school. Yet when the unthinkable happened, a coroner pointed the finger at the parents. Dion and Fiona Neems have been through every parent’s worst nightmare. Their precious child Carla was killed by a rubbish truck outside her home. A tragic accident like this … Read more
Forget 1080 – these days 5G is the conspiracy theory that everyone is freaking out about. But is there any basis for the scare stories? Emily Writes tries to unravel fact from fiction. Have you heard the news about 5G? Folks are absolutely frothing over it in conspiracy groups on Facebook. They’re absolutely convinced that … Read more
Emily Writes dives once more into the frozen gaping maw of online news, so you don’t have to. What a week! Boris is PM and he’s already fucked off the Queen by revealing the sweet nothings she whispered in his ear. He said the Queen told him privately: “I don’t know why anyone would want … Read more