Yesterday housing minister Megan Woods trumpeted a grand total of 12 families helped into homes by the new Progressive Home Ownership Scheme. As Danyl Mclauchlan exclusively reveals, that’s not the government’s only hyper-focused new support plan. Promising “a government that delivers for all New Zealanders”, housing, energy and resource minister Dr Megan Woods has launched … Read more
The New Zealand housing crisis, and how to tackle it, took epistolary form yesterday in letters from the finance minister and the Reserve Bank governor. We read between the lines. Yesterday the finance minister, Grant Robertson, penned a letter to the governor of the Reserve Bank, Adrian Orr, on the subject of the housing market, … Read more
Today’s central city poonami seals it: Wellington is New Zealand’s capital of crap, reports Emily Writes Wellington city’s shitty problem might be worrying residents but faecal enthusiast Steve Steverson says it couldn’t have come at a better time for those hosting the Annual National Undercarriage Symposium. Steverson said the team behind the poo-fest were thrilled … Read more
Sacha Baron-Cohen’s most successful character returns to a pandemic-stricken middle America. The formula is the same, but its impact has radically changed, says Duncan Greive. In Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, more commonly known as Borat 2, the conceit is the same, … Read more
You know who probably takes photos? Green voters. On Newstalk ZB’s Leader’s Breakfast yesterday, famous Christian Judith Collins was asked about NCEA and secondary education. She said, “There are too many photography classes, too much media studies, too much woke stuff”. Obviously this got all the Leftie liberal woke leftists worked up but was it … Read more
And is he about to launch a coup against Judith Collins? Just asking questions here. Jacindamania was meek by comparison. Just as Ardern captured a nation from the role of deputy leader of the opposition in 2017, so it is with Gerry Brownlee in 2020. Relentlessly grouchy, Gerrymania is in full flow, as most recently … Read more
Judith Collins today unlocked the secret of her political comedic code. ‘When my eyebrow goes up, it’s a joke,’ she told reporters. Enlightened, we’ve gone back through her first speech as National leader, to excavate the punchlines. On a trip to the comedy capital of Palmerston North yesterday, Judith Collins announced that no one had … Read more
The number of active cases remains astronomical. Hopes of curbing community transmission of political disgrace in New Zealand are fading, with a succession of new reported cases raising fears that the so-called “Bowen cluster” is out of control. At a press briefing this morning the director general of parliamentary misconduct announced there was one new … Read more
Everyone thinks they know satire when they see it. But does that help our understanding of where it should sit within the law? Nicholas Holm explains why it matters. Before the case was cut short, I was scheduled to appear as an expert witness for the Defence in the recent High Court case, Jones versus … Read more
It can be near impossible for many New Zealanders to afford the most meagre of holidays. But there is an answer, and that answer turns out to be: go foraging berries. Emily Writes explains. Stuff published a fantastic article by Josephine Franks the other day. The rise of ‘holiday hunger’: The Kiwis who can’t afford … Read more
A recording of a toy store Christmas marketing meeting has been leaked to Emily Writes. Despite the danger involved, she has chosen to release these tapes for the benefit of parents. The following will chill you to the bone. I knew it had to be released when it turned up on my front door wrapped … Read more
Speaker Trevor Mallard has announced a crackdown on parties using footage of their opponents in parliament for attack ads. What’s this all about? Electoral law expert Andrew Geddis explains. As the House was kicking off its business yesterday, Speaker Trevor Mallard opened things up by announcing a ruling on Standing Orders. A Labour Party MP … Read more
The newsreader turned talkback host Peter Williams (not Peter Williams) is furious about the mainstream refusal to acknowledge the cheesiness of the moon. I’m sorry but my head still hurts. Yesterday I blew to smithereens the so-called “consensus” on the “science” around “climate change”. I put forward my doubts about “climate” “change”, posing the question, … Read more
Longtime fan Nik Dirga pays tribute to the magazine that weaponised satire before the internet. Last week, news broke that Mad magazine – warping young minds ever since 1952 – would stop publishing original content. It will reportedly switch to just reprint material later this year, and then likely end regular publication entirely soon after … Read more
Tom Augustine on the mythic satire of William Melvin Kelley’s A Different Drummer, written nearly 60 years ago and still too relevant. The haunting and oblique A Different Drummer, a classic of the civil rights era by unsung satirical mastermind William Melvin Kelley, takes its prophetic title from, and begins with, a quote from Henry … Read more
A group of tourists have been travelling the country (Auckland) leaving litter and unpaid restaurant bills in their wake. Government-appointed negotiator Madeleine Chapman tries to reason with them. Kia ora Sir, My name is Madeleine Chapman and I’m here to negotiate on behalf of the New Zealand government and its citizens. You can tell me … Read more
A scrap with Facebook over a copycat Stuff page reveals how fine the line is between combating fake news and straight up censorship. This piece was originally published on June 16, 2018 Fans of the meme page NZ Stuffed would have probably noticed over this week that the content had vanished from their Facebook feeds. … Read more
Emily Writes goes to war with Elf on the Shelf and its disturbing surveillance agenda. A 2015 picture book introduced Elf on the Shelf. Carol Aebersold and her daughter Chanda Bell wrote the book to apparently spread Christmas cheer. The story describes how “Santa’s elves” watch over children at Christmas time then report to Santa. Have they been naughty … Read more
In which the immigration minister is owned by his own Twitter account. Iain-Lees Galloway has faced mounting pressure this week over his decision to grant permanent residency to a convicted drug smuggler and repeat offender from the Czech Republic Karel Sroubek. The immigration minister refused to give media interviews and offered only opaque justifications for … Read more
A year ago today, Bill English and Winston Peters formally tied the political knot. Toby Manhire assesses the first 12 months for the coalition and the challenge for Jacinda Ardern, leading a Labour Party left out in the cold again. They were called the Odd Couple, they were called yesterday’s men, they were called the … Read more
At its 25th birthday convention on the weekend, The NZ First Party passed a remit calling for a test for new arrivals, requiring that they understood NZ values. The Respecting New Zealand Values Bill would require refugees and migrants to sit a test showing they understood what it means to be a Kiwi. One delegate, … Read more
For the time poor but geopolitical address hungry, we have mercilessly crunched down the NZ prime minister’s speech I’m struck as a leader attending my first United Nations General Assembly by the power and potential that resides here, or did until everyone scarpered to watch Brett Kavanaugh lost his shit on C-Span. Anyway, let’s do … Read more
Following the New York Times‘ hard-hitting exposé on Jacinda Ardern, Danyl Mclauchlan reports that life isn’t all trips down the road or chasing ducks in the park with her ragtag bunch of mischievous friends. New Zealand – or, as the locals good-naturedly call it, HairyMaclaryLand – is a small, adorable little nation state all tucked up and snuggly … Read more
I work for the prime minister but like-minded colleagues and I have vowed to thwart parts of her agenda and her worst inclinations. The Spinoff is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous Op-Ed essay. We have done so at the request of the author, a senior member of the Ardern administration whose identity … Read more
From meth-test evictions to mental health treatment, the impact of the last government is being felt across NZ. It is only a matter of time, suggests Danyl Mclauchlan until the National opposition launches a fund-raising campaign In the wake of shocking revelations about Housing New Zealand’s meth testing evictions, a crumbling health service, surging numbers … Read more
We will also test Housing NZ properties for traces of students, pets and bad vibes, reveals our proud CEO (Boiler Suits Division) Alex Braae The report into the pointlessness of testing houses for meth contamination has come at a very bad time for The Spinoff. All those stories about how if one hit was taken … Read more
Former Green MP Catherine Delahunty makes the case for a new ministry. The new government needs to face facts: Pākehā need help to assimilate into Aotearoa. We have had more than 160 years but some of us are still struggling to cope. Reluctant as I am to throw more money at Pākehā, the failures are … Read more
Breakfast carnage continues on Newshub as Mark Richardson and Duncan Garner tear chunks out of Mark Richardson and Duncan Garner Last week New Zealand had barely begun recovering from the sight of broadcaster Duncan Garner’s blistering attack on broadcaster Duncan Garner over free speech when broadcaster Mark Richardson stole his fellow broadcaster’s thunder with a … Read more
The Spinoff’s royals correspondent Alex Braae has been camped outside a London hospital for the past three weeks, waiting eagerly for the name of the new royal baby. In the meantime, these are his predictions. Another royal baby has been born, another barrier has been placed in the way of Prince Harry one day becoming … Read more