Madeleine Chapman 
What compels someone to swim in open water for 12 hours, and what motivates them to turn around and swim the whole way back? Meda McKenzie did it simply to prove it could be done, and was far too stubborn to ever give up. Watching Scratched – or the Olympics, or virtually any professional sport – … Read more
Summer reissue: We fought when she ranked the chips. We bickered when she ranked the lollies. And now, Madeleine Chapman returns to bring the nation together as one, with this, her longest list yet, an unimpeachable ranking of the biscuits. First published April 26 2020 In a world without restaurants, cafes and bakeries, all that remains … Read more
Summer reissue: Summer is the time for buying dollar bags at the dairy. It’s also the time for Madeleine Chapman to rank every single one of them. First published February 14 2020 In a feeble attempt to pre-empt the outrage, I’d like to make some disclaimers. Firstly, the lollies were limited to those sold in … Read more
Too much news? Here’s the only political round-up you need. I spent Saturday evening reporting from the Act Party election event and witnessed a crowd of Act supporters mumble halfheartedly through Sweet Caroline despite the DJ’s increasingly desperate words of encouragement. I tell you this only to give an indication of the headspace I’m currently … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. We’re so close. We’re so close that I voted on Saturday thinking I’d be smart and check out early but forgetting that I still have this column. If you haven’t voted yet, what are you doing? You could be free! If you haven’t voted because … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. Have you voted yet? Voting opened nationwide on Saturday. Jacinda Ardern and Judith Collins both voted early with Ardern posting very casually on Instagram about her voting experience and Collins voting at a church complete with prayer beforehand. That about sums up both of their … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. We’re on the last lap! This election campaign has been a marathon in every sense but we’ve entered the stadium now, the finish line is in sight… just. Hang in there and don’t forget to read up as much as you can on each side … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. The election was supposed to be over by now. We were all supposed to be free but instead we’re back talking about fiscal holes and house prices. Bit of housekeeping: there’ll be no more yes, no, huh? in this column as politics isn’t binary. Unlike … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. Mōrena and welcome to another week. Another week of what, you ask? It doesn’t matter, another week is enough at this point. Labour’s Tax Policy – NO Labour and tax. Like two magnetic south poles, they will never connect. For days, finance minister Grant Robertson … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. Parliament has dissolved and the campaign has officially begun, which means politicians have officially logged on. Marama Davidson – Yes It took six months (read: all of history) but an elected official has finally done something good and funny (on purpose) on social media. It’s … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. Which would you prefer: accidentally telling 500,000 people to get Covid tests immediately, or approving $11.7m to a private school that hosts conspiracy theorists? You don’t even have to choose because both happened last week. Congratulations. James Shaw – NO James Shaw was doing so … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only round-up you need. Auckland is still in level three, the rest of the country is in level two, and I am still using my last brain cell. Welcome. New Zealand being chill about a world leader criticising us – YES Donald Trump said that New Zealand was seeing … Read more
Too much news? Welcome to the only political round-up you need. How foolish we were to believe that we could just go ahead and have our little election without disruption. Remember there was chat about Pacific travel bubbles? Hahaha hahaha ha ha. Covid-19 – YES It’s Covid, bitch. Guess who’s back in the limelight, ruining … Read more
Welcome to the third edition of Memebers of parliament, a politics column for people who just want the memes. Let’s just get to it, shall we? Buses – YES Buses. They’re back. Winston Peters has had his giant face on a big ol’ bus for a while now, but he surely won’t be the only … Read more
Welcome to memebers of parliament, a politics column for people who just want the memes. This column began because for one fortnight last month there seemed to be daily breaking news involving the actions of MPs. There was so much to digest and the only solution was for me to condense it while also adding … Read more
Welcome to memebers of parliament, a political column for people who just want the memes. In 53 days there will be an election and already there’s too much news. Too many politicians doing too many things. Who’s bothering to keep up with politics? Well, technically we all should because we live in a democracy and … Read more
We fought when she ranked the chips. We bickered when she ranked the lollies. And now, Madeleine Chapman returns to bring the nation together as one, with this, her longest list yet, an unimpeachable ranking of the biscuits. In a world without restaurants, cafes and bakeries, all that remains for supper is biscuits. And oh so … Read more
Madeleine Chapman, who wrote the just-published biography Jacinda Ardern: A New Kind of Leader, says watching our prime minister handle the Covid-19 response is like watching an NBA star burst out from the pack. (Yesterday we published an extract). Rajon Rondo was the fourth-best player on the Boston Celtics roster in 2012. By nature of … Read more
An extract from Jacinda Ardern: A New Kind of Leader, the brand new biography of the prime minister by Madeleine Chapman, formerly of this parish. Out today, Madeleine’s biography of the prime minister is magnificent. We cracked up. We had a wee cry. We’ve never read a political biography like it. Tomorrow we’ll have an essay … Read more
The spectre of the coronavirus Covid-19 has reminded us all of the importance of hand-washing, face-touching and other basic hygiene. And it got Madeleine Chapman wondering: how many things do my hands come into contact with every day? In recording everything I touched over the course of a regular workday, I learned four things. 1. Having … Read more
A Madeleine Chapman guide to the best and worst of the change range. I once fell asleep at LAX while waiting for a flight and somebody stole my wallet. I made a sad face at check-in and was able to check my bag for free then had to survive a day in Boston and an … Read more
A Southland school has been criticised for requiring girls to see a counsellor before opting to wear shorts as their uniform. It’s merely a symptom of a bigger problem, Madeleine Chapman writes. On Sunday, Stuff reported that James Hargest College in Southland would soon allow girls to wear shorts or pants as part of their … Read more
Summer is the time for buying dollar bags at the dairy. It’s also the time for Madeleine Chapman to rank every single one of them. In a feeble attempt to pre-empt the outrage, I’d like to make some disclaimers. Firstly, the lollies were limited to those sold in dollar bags. Items sold individually (such as … Read more
Every year the Salvation Army releases a report assessing areas like child poverty and housing. Here’s how we’re doing in 2020. When Jacinda Ardern announced Labour’s first Wellbeing Budget in 2019, she emphasised the importance of placing people at the heart of economic decisions. She acknowledged “New Zealand has had strong growth for a number … Read more
EVolocity is using innovation, creativity and the incoming electric vehicle revolution to encourage kids into STEM education. Madeleine Chapman talks to its founders about the how and why of their mission. If the kids make an electric vehicle that can travel faster than 50km per hour, there may have to be an intervention. That’s too … Read more
In a classic case of better late than never, pioneering Māori tennis player Ruia Morrison was honoured at the 2020 ASB Classic in Auckland. She looked so small, standing on a tennis court with Kiingi Tūheitia on one side and Serena Williams on the other. In her slightly-too-large blazer she looked too small to have … Read more
A recent survey showed millennials are having less sex than older generations. AM Show host Mark Richardson claims it’s because millennials “take all these booty shots” and “photoshop themselves on Facebook”. I was going to write a thesis rebutting all of Richardson’s strangely aggressive and contradicting claims about millennials’ sex lives, but I’m busy doing other things.
The Church of England says no to sex outside of heterosexual marriage. The Church of New Zealand says ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. God has looked favourably upon New Zealand Anglicans this week with confirmation that sex outside of marriage, while not actively encouraged, is not cause for condemnation. This comes days after the Church of England (the mother … Read more
Detox teas have been taken off shelves after being shown to include a pharmacy-only laxative ingredient. Promoted as being aids to weight loss and an organ cleanse, detox teas have had a resurgence in recent years thanks to Instagram influencers hawking them at every turn. What do they really do? According to a recent Consumer … Read more