Madeleine Chapman 
It’ll improve your life a tiny, tiny bit. What more do you want? This shower trick won’t change your life. If you do it correctly and consistently, it won’t even improve your life enough to mention it at a barbecue. In fact, if you don’t do this trick, your life will simply stay exactly as … Read more
Embrace the many zero-alcohol drink options out there and stop bloody serving OJ. How many times have you been at home, or at work, or at a concert, or at a birthday party, or at a formal event, and thought, “What would go really well with this experience is some orange juice”? If your answer … Read more
After three years, Serena Williams is a champion again. Sadly not everyone was too thrilled about a mother competing. When Serena Williams won the ASB Classic women’s title in Auckland on Sunday, the sold-out crowd stood and cheered. As the organisers rushed the court to prepare for the trophy presentation, Williams left. She strode off … Read more
Some people are just untidy. Madeleine Chapman is one of them, and this year she’s decided to embrace the mess. “I was going to clean that up,” I said, feeling a distinct shame I’d never felt before. The cleaner just shrugged. “It’s not that messy, we get this all the time.” I was panicking. I … Read more
Nick Kroll discusses lessons he’s learned in comedy, including how an applicator tampon works. Nick Kroll is always changing and somehow everywhere. On Kroll Show, his three-season sketch comedy show, Kroll rotated through dozens of characters from Larry Bird the basketball player to Liz the insufferable PR to Bobby Bottleservice the ultimate douchebag. On Big … Read more
On Friday 15 March, a terrorist attack in Christchurch took the lives of 50 people at prayer. Eighteen months into her first term as prime minister, Jacinda Ardern faced a formidable task: communicate what happened, embrace a ruptured community, and force through real reform. Madeleine Chapman reports. This was first published 22 March, 2019. The … Read more
Summer reissue: Madeleine Chapman goes through starchy hell to rank every flavour of chip available in New Zealand*. First published 29 March, 2019 *Of course I will have missed some and of course you’ll let me know. Sorry and thanks in advance. This list is so long it really doesn’t need an intro. Hell-123) Any … Read more
Summer reissue: Madeleine Chapman wrote a book and was asked to speak about it at a writers festival. The problem was, nobody wanted to listen. First published 17 May, 2019 No one came. Seriously, no one came. The first sign, a red flag drifting through my subconscious, was the modest attendance at the three person … Read more
God may have created all of his children in his image, but the same cannot be said for his hymns. Some church songs are good, some are bad, and some are absolute bangers. Madeleine Chapman ranks the best of them. This was originally published on 31 June, 2019. Some say that in order to experience … Read more
Madeleine Chapman looks back at ten years of global migration from the real world to the online world. Nothing has changed humanity and how we navigate it more than the internet in the 2010s. In 2010, the world had the internet. In 2019, the world is Online. The internet at the start of the decade … Read more
A book interview turns into a business and life lesson for Madeleine Chapman. Sir Michael Hill (first name Michael, last name Jeweller) gently held my hand on his superyacht. His hands were insultingly softer than mine, and he was selling me an imaginary engagement ring. “You slide the ring on the finger, straighten it up. … Read more
When Barbara Cox joined a football team in 1973, she was one of the first women in the country to do so. She’s still fighting for women in the sport to get the respect they deserve. Auckland women didn’t play football in 1972. Auckland women cooked and cleaned and looked after the children while their … Read more
In the third instalment in a three-part series on the Great Journeys of New Zealand, Madeleine Chapman completes her odyssey by travelling from Christchurch to Greymouth (and back) on the TranzAlpine. Read part two here. After 20 hours of travelling with an abundance of personal space, someone sat next to me. I shouldn’t have been … Read more
In the second instalment in a three-part series on the Great Journeys of New Zealand, Madeleine Chapman travels from Wellington to Christchurch on the Interislander and Coastal Pacific. Read part one here The young man behind the counter on the Interislander laughed at me when I asked for a glass of red wine. He turned … Read more
In the first instalment in a three-part series on the Great Journeys of New Zealand, Madeleine Chapman travels from Auckland to Wellington on the Northern Explorer. I watched a cow give birth. The cow, standing alone on a hillside, was facing away from me when it happened. She looked like every other cow, and as … Read more
Body Mass Index (BMI) is particularly flawed as an indicator of health in children and ethnic minorities. So why do we still use it? In a new comment piece published in the New Zealand Medical Journal, registered dietician Lucy Carey argues that the use of the Body Mass Index in assessing children’s health is both … Read more
As the death toll grows, the immunisation campaign is crucial. At a time like this individuals spreading nonsense is downright dangerous, writes Madeleine Chapman. As of November 27, there have been 33 confirmed measles-related deaths in Sāmoa, 29 of them children. There have been 2,686 confirmed cases of measles in the current outbreak, in a … Read more
One journalist’s quest for a silly answer leads to a desperate search for the truth behind the most bizarre news story. A woman was reading a book, her husband was driving, and their son was asleep in the back seat when an axe flew through the windscreen. The short-handled axe – otherwise known as a … Read more
The Breakers’ newest recruit has a history of violent behaviour on and off the court. Glen Rice Jnr is very good at basketball. Playing in the 2018 Israel Cup final, Rice scored 28 points for his Hapoel Holon team, and hit a game-winning shot with 1.6 seconds left on the clock. He averaged 24.5 and … Read more
Today The Spinoff Book launches itself keenly into the world, replete with many of the best reads from five years of The Spinoff, plus a host of freshly written material and lashings of new illustrations by Toby Morris. Here’s a taste of the new stuff: an essay by the inimitable Madeleine Chapman on her time … Read more
What could an online private investigator discover about you? Madeleine Chapman paid $99 to find out. When my colleague mentioned in passing that she once stood front row at a Beyoncé concert and incoherently screamed a line of a song into Beyoncé’s microphone, and that footage of the incident was somewhere on Youtube, I knew … Read more
What does a celebrity have to do to get a slice of our paradise? Like the kid in primary school with the yummiest lunch, everyone wants a piece of New Zealand. More specifically, when Americans (and Brits and Australians) don’t like an election candidate, they threaten to move to New Zealand. The day after George … Read more
It’s time we all accepted that James Blunt is good, argues Madeleine Chapman. “I woke up this morning and realised all I do is apologise for a song I wrote in 2005.” The song he wrote in 2005 was ‘You’re Beautiful’ and James Blunt is nothing if not self-aware. The above line is the opening … Read more
What the B Corp certification actually means and why it matters. Five decades ago, economist Milton Friedman was concerned about business accepting a social responsibility. In an oft-cited 1970 essay for The New York Times Magazine, Friedman argued that while CEOs could feel an individual responsibility to society around them, “a corporate executive is an … Read more
The headline said it all. Stats NZ has released 2018 census data on New Zealanders’ commuting habits and, guess what, we love a motorised polluter. “Car streets ahead for travel to work and education” was the heading. It should have been “cars rule, all other options drool”. New cycleways are under construction across Auckland and … Read more
Madeleine Chapman spent a day learning about Christchurch through its most famous dishes. What is there do with with a day in Christchurch? Thanks to the inexplicably early check-out times at hotels all over the world and a 7pm flight back to Auckland, I had a full day to wander the great Garden City. What … Read more
Madeleine Chapman celebrates the girl truths of Netflix’s hit show about puberty, Big Mouth. Girls are horny too. Girls are angry too. How to have an orgasm. The episode titles of Big Mouth are literal and accurate. Girls are horny too! Girls are angry too! How to have an orgasm! Big Mouth follows a group of … Read more
The prime minister conducted most of her Tuesday morning media interviews in-studio today, including her regular chat with ZB titan Mike Hosking. Madeleine Chapman watched then wrote this. Every Tuesday morning Jacinda Ardern has the pleasure of speaking to Mike Hosking. A weekly interview slot on ZB, among others, has long been held by the … Read more
A long-derided refugee policy has been reversed, the government announced today. What’s happening? The government has announced changes to its three-year refugee policy, focusing on the Asia-Pacific region and removing restrictions for some refugees. In announcing the changes, Immigration Minister Iain Lees-Galloway said, “we knew changes needed to be made and today’s announcements reflect … Read more