When Claire Freeman became a wheelchair user at age 17, the questions she had about how she might enjoy sex were dismissed and she was made to feel like that part of her life was over. Here she flips the script with some advice on how to find pleasure on your own terms. A version … Read more
Within the rapidly changing landscape of the Covid-19 pandemic, physical distancing is fast becoming the new normal. But what does that mean for our sex lives? RNZ‘s Melody Thomas writes. Warning: Contains sexual references. This advice is not for everyone. If you’re dealing with the effects of sexual abuse and assault, here is a list of support … Read more
The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi (Picador, $20) Six weeks at the top of the Auckland chart, now. … Read more
A recent survey showed millennials are having less sex than older generations. AM Show host Mark Richardson claims it’s because millennials “take all these booty shots” and “photoshop themselves on Facebook”. I was going to write a thesis rebutting all of Richardson’s strangely aggressive and contradicting claims about millennials’ sex lives, but I’m busy doing other things.
The Church of England says no to sex outside of heterosexual marriage. The Church of New Zealand says ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. God has looked favourably upon New Zealand Anglicans this week with confirmation that sex outside of marriage, while not actively encouraged, is not cause for condemnation. This comes days after the Church of England (the mother … Read more
Women have been told for years that the hymen is an integral part of sex, especially when it comes to ‘losing your virginity’. Nurse and educator Kathy Lowe says that’s all a lie. The concept of virginity has been around for thousands of years. Rooted in cultural and religious beliefs, virginity has historically dictated whether … Read more
Summer reissue: Three Women is a fervent, scrupulous qualitative review of female desire. It’s also a lesson in commitment – and the powerful act of paying attention. First published 8 July, 2019. Imagine a pole vaulter strolling into the Olympics, eyeing the bar – the women’s world record is 5.06m – and casually hitching it like … Read more
For the first time a universal international standard for sex toys is being considered. Emily Writes goes balls deep to see what New Zealand’s biggest adult retailer and the observer to the Project Committee thinks. Stats on just how many people own sex toys are hard to come by (no pun intended). But there’s no … Read more
Otago University’s student magazine Critic Te Arohi has had a stellar couple of years, producing bold, disruptive journalism that delights in poking authority with a large stick. Respective editors have taken the same approach to their covers, producing a number of anarchic images designed to provoke and titillate (with great success). As anyone in magazine … Read more
No show has ever delivered more and better sex than True Blood. Emily Writes looks back on a trashy high-art masterpiece. This content is brought to you by NEON – where all seasons of True Blood are streaming now. It was the scene in the basement that did it for me. Sex swing? Check. Alexander … Read more
Lisa McMillan is an adrenaline junkie. Instead of Sallydiving or driving race cars, she collects rooms full of naked strangers. Josie Adams went along to the Naked Dinner and found it stimulated all the wrong hormones. In a tealight-lit lounge in a rented Symonds Street flat, I milled around with 23 strangers. We were all … Read more
When Emily Writes reviewed a life-changing sex toy, the response from orgasm-starved women was huge. So why are so many having so few orgasms, and what can be done? For the last two years I’ve been running a pretty small – about 600-odd member – group for mostly New Zealand women to talk about sex … Read more
Nowadays, sex toys aren’t all dildos and vibrators. Emily Writes tries out the cutting edge in sex toy technology. I know exactly when I first read about the Satisfyer Pro 2. Still shaking, my friend had taken to Instagram to spread the gospel, writing that she’d had the best orgasm of her life with it. … Read more
Three Women is a fervent, scrupulous qualitative review of female desire. It’s also a lesson in commitment – and the powerful act of paying attention. Imagine a pole vaulter strolling into the Olympics, eyeing the bar – the women’s world record is 5.06m – and casually hitching it like a metre higher. Then fucking nailing the … Read more
A play teaching teens about consent and sexual harassment opens in Wellington this week, followed by Auckland next month. Co-creator Karin McCracken talks about why the show was necessary, and the generationally unique struggles kids face today. The current model of health education in New Zealand allows parents to opt their kids out of sex … Read more
In the latest episode of her RNZ podcast BANG! Melody Thomas speaks with kinky Kiwis about what they’re into, how they negotiate consent, and what vanilla relationships could learn from their communities. Kink is described as activities and fantasies falling outside of the “normal” boundaries of sex and intimacy. But what is normal? Light choking … Read more
It’s the topic that always comes up after a few wines between mums: who’s having sex and who’s not? We present a no holds barred tell-all about the sexual experiences of mothers, curated by Spinoff Parents editor Emily Writes. First published 25 May, 2018. Is it really a piece about sex if I don’t say … Read more
The strip club-set New Zealand TV series The Strip ran for two seasons in the early-2000s and is now largely forgotten. But Emily Writes remembers it… We heard about The Strip before we saw it on TV. The advertising had been hot. We knew Robbie Magasiva was involved and my god, we loved Robbie Magasiva … Read more
Fleur Adcock reviews Philip Temple’s vividly presented biography of the great Titirangi author Maurice Shadbolt – and sets the record straight about an alleged phone message she left for her ex-lover, provoking his (third) wife to throw a chicken at him. The prologue of Philip Temple’s biography of Maurice Shadbolt features an entertaining anecdote in which my … Read more
“We rule the book-reading world”: Catherine Robertson reports from the Romance Writers of New Zealand annual conference. “Charlotte Stein writes the best cunnilingus scenes. And I’m a gay guy. Think about what I’m saying.” Damon Suede cannot shock his audience. This is the Romance Writers of New Zealand annual conference, held recently at the Novotel … Read more
All week this week we present new verse, to celebrate National Poetry Day on Friday. Today’s poet: Paula Harris of Palmerston North. if I were a queen, I would start wars out of sexual frustration I wouldn’t be a virgin queen – obviously – but I would be known to become incredibly tetchy … Read more
Research shows we think young people have a lot more sex than they do in reality – and men have a particularly skewed view of the sex lives of young women. As part of research institute Ipsos’ long-running studies on misperceptions, to be released in a new book, The Perils of Perception, we asked people … Read more
There are major barriers for disabled people who want to pursue sex and relationships. They are real and deeply felt. Yet the stigmatising tone of public conversation makes me wary, writes Henrietta Bollinger “Um … advice? From me? Yes, we can,” was my cautious, then tongue-in-cheek answer. “As Obama would say!” The others laughed. It … Read more
This week is World Breastfeeding Week. Spinoff Parents editor Emily Writes speaks to Family Planning doctor Beth Messenger about what contraception is the best to use while breastfeeding and after you’ve given birth. So you’ve had your baby, and if it was a relatively recent experience you’re probably thinking that your vagina will never be … Read more
It seems like everyone is talking about syphilis and that can’t be a good thing – or can it? Emily Writes gives you the lowdown What’s all this then? Mate, we’re in the midst of an outbreak and it’s not good. Syphilis, once almost eradicated in New Zealand, is at epidemic levels. There have been deaths … Read more
Sex is a struggle for most people, but it can be doubly difficult for those living with a disability, writes Caroline Moratti for the Otago University student magazine Critic. Is sex a basic human right? Not for your parents hopefully, don’t picture that. To access sex remains a struggle that plagues most of our lives. … Read more
As part of RNZ’s sexuality podcast, Bang!, Melody Thomas looks at Māori sexuality and gender expression prior to colonisation. Despite spending more than a year learning about sex, sexuality and relationships in Aotearoa – until recently, I knew very little about pre-colonial Māori perspectives on these things. I’d have more easily defined the indigenous North … Read more
David Farrier finds out why some men are paying Auckland musician Princess Chelsea hundreds of dollars for one song. Princess Chelsea is one of my favourite New Zealand musicians. Some of her songs are massive and big, like this one which has 40 million views on YouTube. Others are a bit smaller, like ‘Yulia‘ (only … Read more
Birds do it. Bees do it. But do podcasters do it? The On the Rag team join forces with RNZ’s Bang! to talk about sex, baby. In a Very Special Crossover, Alex Casey, Leonie Hayden and Michele A’Court sit down with Bang!‘s Melody Thomas to talk about sexual awakenings, crushing on The Grinch and what NOT … Read more