A personal journey from reasonable trepidation to sweet love for the video game Minecraft. It was barely a week after I said to my sister “I don’t let the boys play any games” that my children’s Minecraft obsession began. We had agreed that Fortnite was likely the worst (I’ve never played it but spoke with … Read more
Wtf did we just watch? That sound you heard was a million furries screaming in ecstasy as their fantasy and everyone else’s nightmare came to life in the form of the first trailer for the live action version of Cats. Is it live action if it’s CGI fur-covered actors singing Andrew Lloyd Webber songs? It’s … Read more
For generations, women have done the heavy lifting in the fight for social change. What will it take to get more men to give a fuck about their children’s future? At every question and answer session I attend, I get a variation of the same question. If it’s not asked by the chair, it’s asked … Read more
We keep hearing that Kids These Days are mollycoddled and risk-averse, but is that really true? And guess who gets blamed when kids do take risks and things go wrong? This generation aye? They don’t let their kids climb trees and they can’t play bullrush. No lolly scrambles either! In my day I used to … Read more
Emily Writes once more ventures into the treacherous depths of online news, so you don’t have to. In absolutely astonishing news the New Zealand woman who married a random dude the day she met him has divorced him. Who would have ever foreseen this? New Zealander Sarah Elliott married Paul Edwards on Christmas Day. Which … Read more
Nowadays, sex toys aren’t all dildos and vibrators. Emily Writes tries out the cutting edge in sex toy technology. I know exactly when I first read about the Satisfyer Pro 2. Still shaking, my friend had taken to Instagram to spread the gospel, writing that she’d had the best orgasm of her life with it. … Read more
It seems quite a claim to say Chocolate is choreographer Sacha Copland’s best work considering her immense talent but it’s true, says Emily Writes. I am not a fan of immersive theatre or interactive dance or whatever you want to call it. I don’t want to get involved. While my son will wildly volunteer for … Read more
Emily Writes bravely ventures into the treacherous cavities of online news so you don’t have to. It’s been a week in Princess Diana news despite the fact that she died in 1997. Kevin Costner has said Lady Di once considered starring in a sequel to The Bodyguard. Unsurprisingly, that shit-stirrer Fergie was behind it. If … Read more
A week later, that Queensland house with a glass-walled ensuite bathroom is still giving Emily Writes nightmares. In this confusing and chaotic world we live in there are so many issues that are legitimately outrageous. There are so many things you see online and offline that just shock you to your core. There are so … Read more
It’s a scary world out there, and there’s a lot for you as a parent to be frightened of. But what are the things you should be most freaked out about right now? Emily Writes has some suggestions. When I was pregnant with my firstborn I was extremely anxious about almost everything. Was my baby … Read more
Parent to a fussy toddler? The ‘I’m Not Hungry for Fruit Mum’ bag is the only meal kit service you’ll ever need! Delivery meal kits seem to be everywhere at the moment. Every company insists they have the food that your kids will love. They say you’ll never have to think about what you cook … Read more
Emily Writes reflects on being out and proud, three years after accepting and embracing her sexuality. In church I listened to sermons about people with the devil in their hearts. People who would go to Hell even if they were good people. God hates the sin. There’s so much sin. We have to be strong … Read more
How do you reconcile wanting a kinder, gentler world and also wishing for nothing but misfortune for your enemies? You accept the cleansing power of a deep and passionate grudge, says Emily Writes. The famous philosopher Will Smith once said: “Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume … Read more
Over the weekend, horrific false news about a teenage girl being “euthanised” due to mental illness was reported all around the world. The truth was almost as uncomfortable: a teenage girl dying by suicide from the impact of sexual abuse and assault. Emily Writes discusses the conversation we must have. Content warning: This post discusses … Read more
Cheer up, at least it’ll all soon be over. So scientists have helpfully let us know that come 2050 we will all be burnt alive slash drown slash muslide slash rocks falling on your head. Climate change they say could become an “existential threat to human civilisation” that can never be undone. If that doesn’t … Read more
Cartoon characters can be almost anything – people, animals, figments of your imagination. And they can also be hot as hell. In the last few weeks I’ve watched a lot of kids’ TV as my little ones have struggled through a seemingly endless string of viruses. It’s little wonder that your mind wanders when you’re … Read more
Following a roadside birth in an ambulance, the Southern DHB chief said it is ‘important for mothers and midwives to plan well ahead of their delivery’. Emily Writes wanted to find out more about how pregnancy works, so she asked a man who knows. Here at The Spinoff, we had our first piece on the wonderful … Read more
While KFC staff are desperately trying to draw attention to their terrible working conditions, people are losing their shit over a chicken burger. Over the weekend, as their staff begged them for better working conditions, KFC sent out an email to influencers and media inviting them to a party. KFC relaunched their Double Down burger … Read more
The biggest education strike in New Zealand history, including primary and secondary school teachers, and principals, will take place on May 29. But what can parents do to help? Emily Writes has some advice. On Sunday it was announced that teachers in primary and secondary schools would strike for more funding, lower class ratios, support … Read more
If you’re a man who isn’t sure that you’re a good partner to the mother of your children, then you’re probably not, says Emily Writes. There’s a thing that happens on Facebook groups and group chats across the country on, or the day after, Mother’s Day. Every year without fail I see it – mothers sharing the … Read more
Emily Writes speaks to researcher Leimomi Oakes about Plunket’s dark past and the despicable views of its founder Sir Frederic Truby King. Since becoming a parent six years ago and being introduced to our country’s Plunket health service, I’ve been fascinated by the history of the organisation. By all accounts, its founder Frederic Truby King … Read more
Emily Writes has been leaked the minutes to a Mother’s Day gift guide focus group for Farmers department store. Here is the unedited transcript of the hour-long meeting. The Spinoff has obtained an exclusive transcript of the focus group that become the basis for the 2019 Mother’s Day Farmers catalogue – one which featured 11 … Read more
Emily Writes heads over to Harry and Meghan’s whare to discuss the impending (or maybe it’s happening right now) birth of the next royal child. *potentially For years now, Princess Meghan of Buckin’am Windsor has been flaunting her baby bump and causing havoc in the UK White House by being visibly pregnant. We have read all of … Read more
Emily Writes was disappointed by yesterday’s capital gains tax news – but after years of government inaction on housing inequality, she wasn’t surprised. I found out that Jacinda Ardern had chucked plans to impose a capital gains tax through my group chat. Each day, my girlfriends and I chat throughout the day about various things … Read more
Ryan Murphy? A procedural show? Connie Britton’s hair? Emily Writes is hooked on 9-1-1, now showing on Lightbox. If you’ve ever watched a crime or rescue procedural and thought ‘I really wish people in this episode would be maimed or die in a more original way,’ well, have I got a show for you! Ryan … Read more
Longer hours have some parents up in arms, but Emily Writes argues that kindergartens are only doing what they have to in order to survive. My son’s kindergarten is one of my favourite places in the world. My first baby began his learning journey there and it feels like our home away from home. I … Read more
Forget Married at First Sight, the craziest hookups are happening at Wellington Zoo. Capybara reporter Emily Writes reveals all. I’ve been obsessed with the capybaras at Wellington Zoo for a long time now. They first arrived in 2016 from Paris. Sister wives Vara, Guara and Iapa and pseudo husband Guarani. I loved them on sight, … Read more
The three-part mini-series Three Girls tells the story of the horrendous Rochdale child rape ring in the UK. It’s a harrowing watch, says Emily Writes, but it’s important we don’t look away – on screen and in real life. I’m not a fan of true crime; it too often feels like ingesting someone’s agony as … Read more
Following the Christchurch terror attacks parents around the world have been concerned about what their children might see online and how they might cope with the immense tragedy of the events. Emily Writes spoke to the author of Keeping Your Children Safe Online, John Parsons, about what parents should know. I met John Parsons at an … Read more