Wellingtonians gathered at the Basin Reserve last night to mourn the loss of 50 lives, grieve together, and stand against terrorism, Islamophobia and white supremacy, reports Emily Writes. Many wore white. Many cried. There were many tamariki there, in the sunshine, sitting quietly on the laps of their parents. A young girl stood at one of the entrances … Read more
This week, and pretty much all the time, young people are putting to shame the aged moaners among us, says Emily Writes I’m of the opinion that generally children are better than adults. This week has thoroughly cemented this view for me and it’s only Thursday morning. I don’t know what it is about becoming … Read more
YouTube has been in the news a lot in the last few weeks and parents around the world are considering whether they should allow their kids to watch. Emily Writes decided it was time to give it up. Hi, my name is Emily Writes and I’ve been one week without YouTube Kids. This has been … Read more
The actor Luke Perry, whose performance as Dylan McKay in the TV show Beverly Hills 90210 was an early ’90s cultural phenomenon, has died aged 52. Emily Writes pays tribute. Luke Perry, aka Dylan McKay, was my first love. There was no separating Luke from Dylan. He was Dylan. Wearing a white shirt and leather … Read more
The news that Reading Cinema’s wonderful cinema staff are being made redundant was a shock given Reading Cinemas had just said the complex would reopen. Emily Writes salutes the workers. This piece began as a tribute to my favourite cinema complex, and then the news broke that all staff there would be made redundant. Like … Read more
Christchurch’s massive hand sculpture Quasi is moving to Wellington. Refusing to be palmed off, Emily Writes set out to learn his story. I heard him before I saw him. He was awkwardly trying to get into the Mojo (you know the one on Courtenay next to the one on Dixon that’s next to the one … Read more
Emily Writes is hungry so she wrote about sandwiches, the most perfect food in the universe. My husband is a healthy-eating type of person which is quite grating, since I’m not. About a year ago he decided bread was bad and my life has been challenging ever since. I decided after a short January break … Read more
With screeds of media coverage of self-help strange tie fan Jordan Peterson, Emily Writes ponders if there possibly might be anyone more interesting to get on your podcast. Noted beef eater Jonathan Peitersen is almost literally covered in the excited juices of male journalists everywhere right now. You can’t avoid it even if you wanted … Read more
A reporter for the Daily Mail interviewed some “interiors therapists” who warned her that her home was repelling men. Emily Writes has some advice on how to make your home welcoming to dudes. I knew I had to click the article as soon as I saw it. How to avoid turning your home into a manrepeller: … Read more
Parents around the world have woken into a new world. A world where YouTube sensation Blippi, their child’s favourite entertainer, has made a video of him shitting on his friend who is wearing a helmet and googles. Emily Writes unpacks the biggest news story of the year for the toddler set. Where were you when … Read more
The anti-natalism isn’t funny, says Emily Writes. It’s just very sad. Content warning: suicidal thoughts Mumbai businessman Raphael Samuel, 27, should really be a joke right? He’s suing his parents, who are both lawyers, for conceiving him and bringing him into the world. They’re taking it in good humour and there are plenty of easy laughs … Read more
Emily Writes picks some kids shows you can watch without wanting to poke your eyes out with a blunt stick. Before I had kids I wasn’t going to let them watch any screens. We didn’t even own a TV when my firstborn came along. He went without TV until he was about two. Then his … Read more
A Stuff column by ‘millennial’ Jackson Thomas pondered why anyone would work in fencing, but it applies to much of manual labour. With her husband’s permission, Emily Writes shares his story of what an honest living really is. “Fencing sounds like a great way to make an honest living, but you don’t have to be a … Read more
Someone Emily Writes knew, or thought she knew, raped a woman in a horrific attack. She asks why she didn’t see the monster within. Someone I knew from high school killed someone many years back. When I was asked what he’d been like in high school I said there had been something “off” about him. … Read more
Councillor Chris Calvi-Freeman has called for an end to tooting in Wellington’s Mt Vic Tunnel. Over the coming days many will discuss this important issue. But what does the Tunnel think? Emily Writes sat down with them to find out. I’ll say it right now, at this point in my life, I’m a huge fan … Read more
In January 2019, a National Party MP called for summer school holidays to be shortened from six weeks to five or even four. Emily Writes did not agree. Like most parents I have days where I think the school holidays are dragging on and on and on. Some days I want to shoot my children … Read more
As we slide into 2019 it’s time to start thinking about the pun-based activities and festivities you’ll be giving up, giving into, marking and celebrating this year. Emily Writes is here to help. Let’s start with the year itself. We all know that 2018 was in fact 20GayTeen but did you know 2019 is 20Bi-Teen? … Read more
Your house might be tidy but now you’re surrounded by garbage bags full of all of your KonMarie’d shit. What do you do? Emily Writes looks for answers. My house was as messy as my life is – which is to say very messy. But then I discovered Marie Kondo. I am now a convert, … Read more
New Year, new you? We hear that a lot in January. The focus tends to be on the body, but what if you have a shit personality online? What can you do to fix that? Emily Writes can help. I think 2019 should be the year that people who are assholes in comment sections try … Read more
Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICU) and Special Care Baby Units around the country will be visited by Santa this week – he’s just made up of a lot of people who care. Emily Writes shares the story of the NICU Secret Santa. As Christmas cards are handed out around the country, a few will have … Read more
The Presidential Wall Game is an ugly celebration of Trumpian nationalism and has no place on NZ shelves, argues Emily Writes. Toyco is selling a board game that encourages children and their parents to build a wall – a wall that more than anything is a symbol of the xenophobia and hatred that is central to … Read more
Worried about getting your kids to sleep on time amid all the excitement of Christmas Eve. Don’t worry, says Emily Writes – it’s easy when you know how. A new tool has been created to help parents with when is safe to hand out the Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. No it’s not a prescription … Read more
Emily Writes decides to take a trip on the Interislander to Picton for a night away with her good friend and three kids under six. What could go wrong? To say it had been a bad week would have been an understatement. First my husband broke his foot. Then my six-year-old got chicken pox. And … Read more
Emily Writes goes to war with Elf on the Shelf and its disturbing surveillance agenda. A 2015 picture book introduced Elf on the Shelf. Carol Aebersold and her daughter Chanda Bell wrote the book to apparently spread Christmas cheer. The story describes how “Santa’s elves” watch over children at Christmas time then report to Santa. Have they been naughty … Read more
What do you get your drunk uncle for Christmas? What about your aunty who believes in conspiracy theories? Or your cousin’s wife who is super racist? Emily Writes has your back. Buying Christmas presents is heaps of fun when you like the people you’re buying presents for. But what if you get the family dickhead … Read more
The strip club-set New Zealand TV series The Strip ran for two seasons in the early-2000s and is now largely forgotten. But Emily Writes remembers it… We heard about The Strip before we saw it on TV. The advertising had been hot. We knew Robbie Magasiva was involved and my god, we loved Robbie Magasiva … Read more
Christmas can be stressful – so Emily Writes decided to do something about it by giving up on festive travel. She explains why you should join her in refusing to budge this Christmas. I’m going to say straight up that nobody should be forced to travel at Christmas. Lots of people love travelling, they love … Read more
Karla, Kirsa, Kirsty, Teresa, Christie, Sophie, Grace. Every woman has the name of another who taught them it’s not safe to be a woman. But what are men being taught? They were known as the Bega Schoolgirls but I’ll always remember their names. Lauren Margaret Barry and Nichole Emma Collins. They were 14 and 16. … Read more
A group of doctors are fighting as ‘conscientious objectors’ on abortion, and the NZ Medical Association is in their corner. Emily Writes is not impressed. This week, a group of doctors in New Zealand said they would “fight” for the right to not provide advice to pregnant women. It is, as I see it, part of … Read more