Every day in the leadup to Christmas, open the door to reveal a Spinoff writer’s short, sizzling commentary on a weighty subject. Our arbitrary and strictly enforced word limit: 365. Today: Emily Writes on why Christmas music is great. Christmas music is a gift and you know it. Look, before you @ me: I worked … Read more
Elliot’s family invite us into their homes again to see how she’s doing one year on from chemotherapy. Photos by Danny Rood. Words by Emily Writes. This is the second part in a series on Elliot. Read part one here. Caroline, Lina to her friends, heard a scream first. It was pouring with rain and … Read more
Every day in the leadup to Christmas, open the door to reveal a Spinoff writer’s short, sizzling commentary on a weighty subject. Our arbitrary and strictly enforced word limit: 365. Today: Emily Writes on the Freakshake. 2017 might have been the year the “Freakshake” was born. But 2018 was truly the year this abomination became … Read more
There’s a new movement in the dog community – veganism. But are dogs being forced to forego meat against their will? Emily Writes met some dogs to get into the (meat-free) bones of the matter. Buddy* is a six-year-old golden labrador. He’s extremely interested in balls and has a PHD in Owner Behaviour at Canine … Read more
Yes a woman can be Santa – just ask all the mothers out there, says Emily Writes. A debate has erupted over the gender of Santa. “Can Santa be a woman?” ask many, many men who have never bought a Christmas present in their lives. Or if they have it was bought at a petrol … Read more
Retired greyhounds being supported to become the wonderful pets they are inside by men who are inside New Zealand prisons. I dislike both the greyhound racing industry and the industrial prison complex but there’s no denying that even if this is a PR stunt it’s a lovely one. In early 2018 Greyhound Racing New Zealand … Read more
A tale of a Wellington City Councillor, a plaque celebrating a famously compassionate Wellingtonian, and 32 people living in cars in the councillor’s ward. “Apparently there are now 32 people living in cars in the unrestricted parking area directly below X Road*” the flyer from Wellington City Councillor Nicola Young said. Shockingly, what followed next … Read more
Trying to navigate what films and games your child consume can be difficult. But R18 means R18, says Emily Writes, who calls on other parents to monitor what their kids are watching – for the sake of all children. When our son was two, we took him to an AC/DC concert. It was outside, at … Read more
LOOK AT ITS FACE AND EARS WHAT ABOUT ITS NOSE. THIS LIL SHEP IS A Swiss Valais Blacknose BUT YOU CAN CALL IT FLOOFY SAMWHICH POODLE BOI. Wairarapa farmer Christine Reed told Radio NZ that along with several business partners formed Valais Blacknose NZ and imported the breed as embryos from the UK about a year and … Read more
A new survey of 1,025 New Zealand women found that 82% had experienced either sexual violence or harassment. Compelling evidence – but will men ever believe it, asks Emily Writes. Content warning: This column describes instances of rape, sexual assault and sexual harassment. I read in resigned horror about Bauer Media’s survey of sexual violence against … Read more
It’s time to reveal the truth about co-sleepers. Emily Writes exposes the secret lives of families who bed share. I meet her in a dark alley. I hear her before I see her. She’s holding a shusher in her hand and it’s rhythmically shushing into the deep impenetrable blackness of the night. I assume she … Read more
TradeMe has just released its list of the Top 10 most-searched toys for 2018. Emily Writes tries to figure out what the hell they are. It’s true I’ve been looking on TradeMe for every iteration of “Cubby house” available to me with a “pick up Wellington” criteria. None are in my price range. And the … Read more
Emily Writes is mad as hell and not going to take it (fireworks) any more. Guy Fawkes Night sucks. This is a fact. As the giant hypocrite that I am, despite last week encouraging people to just not take part in Halloween if they don’t like it, I’m going to go full hog today and … Read more
Yesterday, NZ Post broke hearts by ending the Twitter Secret Santa game. Emily Writes asked Libby Greatnews – social media specialist for NZ Post / social elf for NZ Secret Santa – what happened. Chances are if you’ve sent a message to the NZ Secret Santa Twitter account, the blue-haired delight Libby Greatnews has answered your … Read more
Halloween in New Zealand is still not really a thing. But Emily Writes thinks it maybe should be. I’ll admit it, I love a good dress up. I was easy to win over when it came to Halloween. I always bought lollies hoping children would come to my door even before having little ones of … Read more
Emily Writes has been considering how great it is to be a kid while staying up until midnight making a Halloween costume for her child who wants to be a “bubble”. I’ve been reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to my son, a chapter each night as he cuddles up in my lap. He thinks … Read more
Wellington woke to the delightful news that Iapa, beloved wine barrel with legs currently being adorable at Wellington Zoo, has popped out seven precious little capybara pups. Noted capybara fan Emily Writes got the exclusive. Capybaras are a wonderful animal, universally loved and adored – they are friends to all. They are like rat pig … Read more
Emily Writes travels to the future to file the first news report on Meghan and Harry’s forthcoming tour of New Zealand. Queen Princess Meghorn United Kingdom Duchess and a small red haired man landed in New Zealand, Aotearoa, Middle Earth, today to huge fanfare. Dozens of royal enthusiasts lined the street holding celebratory buckets of … Read more
The mother of Maureen Pugh, the National MP whom Simon Bridges called ‘fucking useless’, has rounded on the party leader, calling him a ‘dumb arse’ in return. Good on her, says Emily Writes: all power to mummy warriors, of all ages. I was at Chipmunks – sometimes it feels like I live there – when … Read more
Do you have a terrible boss story? We asked friends and whānau to share their worst for National Boss’s Day*. It’s a fact that a significant portion of bosses are jerks. Many are great**, but a great many are jerks***. Here are the best/worst boss stories we have ever heard. Names have been changed, to … Read more
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week so your Facebook feed is awash with encouragement to “reach out”. It’s important people know they can reach out if they need help – but what happens next, asks Emily Writes. Like many, many, many other people, I have quite bad anxiety. It has been described by various clever doctor … Read more
Looking for a bit of publicity for your small business? Just stir up anti-kid outrage and watch those dollars roll in, says The Spinoff’s marketing expert* Emily Writes. I’m here to introduce you to the newest marketing techniques all the Boomers are going crazy for! Or as the millennial say: Avocado! I’ve been in marketing … Read more
We review the entire country and culture of New Zealand, one thing at a time. Today, Emily Writes tries a new super-sized version of a classic flavoured milk. I was hungry and had already finished my two-minute noodles so I figured it was time to go to my happy place, Capital Mart. What can I … Read more
Emily Writes bids an emotional goodbye to The Spinoff Parents, a world unto itself she dreamed up and shaped. Two years ago, The Spinoff Parents launched to much excitement. We were set in our kaupapa and sure we could make a difference in how parenting is perceived and viewed and covered in the mainstream media. … Read more
Recently, the creator of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street came out and said what we already all knew: Bert and Ernie are a lovable gay couple. But still some people deny it. Emily Writes – who watches a lot of Sesame Street – says those people are making her lose her mind. For reasons that will … Read more
In suburban Wellington, a mother of two boys is slowly losing her mind. In the first episode of ‘I Survived…’, Emily Writes tells us about the time she survived going to the zoo – barely. “What would you do if you were confronted with death? What gives someone the strength to survive? Is it luck, … Read more
Broadcaster John Campbell will tonight present his final show as the host of Checkpoint on RNZ. Emily Writes explains why he is a basket of kittens and how she loves everything about him. Last week I had to admit to my husband that I’m desperately in love with John Campbell. I had just returned from the Word … Read more
Child shaming and rejoicing in the punishment of children is horrible, and it’s part of a wider trend of the hatred of children becoming acceptable. Emily Writes asks what we can do to turn this shit around. A parent, in a fit of anger, smashed their child’s iPad the other day. It’s not the first … Read more
Toilet training – there are all kinds of ways to make it work, and it’s fairly easy. Unless it isn’t. Spinoff Parents editor Emily Writes goes through the five stages of toilet training. I remember it as if it was yesterday. A mother asked me about toilet training. I had not toilet trained my son. … Read more