Fathers

The issue with disappearing dads

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Jai Breitnauer on what happens when male role models start disappearing from a child’s life. Recently, we saw a ghost from the past. Once a regular visitor to our home, there just after the birth of our first child and a constant presence for more than a decade, this individual disappeared from our lives a … Read more

A message to my late father

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This Father’s Day, broadcaster Nadine Higgins reckons with her complex relationship with her estranged Dad who passed away last year.  When someone you love dies, people console you for your loss. But in truth, we lost each other some time ago. Long before that Sunday when I woke inexplicably at 3.30 am, anxious but unaware … Read more

Emily Writes: Where are the Millions of Dads for climate action?

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For generations, women have done the heavy lifting in the fight for social change. What will it take to get more men to give a fuck about their children’s future? At every question and answer session I attend, I get a variation of the same question. If it’s not asked by the chair, it’s asked … Read more

Incompetent dads aren’t funny. They’re just shitty partners

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If you’re a man who isn’t sure that you’re a good partner to the mother of your children, then you’re probably not, says Emily Writes. There’s a thing that happens on Facebook groups and group chats across the country on, or the day after, Mother’s Day. Every year without fail I see it – mothers sharing the … Read more

A stay-at-home dad asks: Have you seen my masculinity?

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Since becoming an at-home father, Adam Mamo has been on a desperate search for his masculinity – after all, he keeps being told it’s gone missing. You needn’t look far back in time to when being a stay-at-home dad wasn’t really a thing. Early practitioners of this dark art were seen merely as fathers without … Read more

Where are all the baby changing rooms for dads?

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Men are increasingly the primary caregivers for kids, but public facilities for them to change nappies in remain woefully inadequate. This story was originally published on Newshub. As Clarke Gayford is about to show the world, males are perfectly capable of being primary caregivers. Plenty of them are keen to take some time off work … Read more

Dad versus Baby Mum Mum 2 Mum: a father on mother-centric branding

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At-home dad Adam Mamo is sick of advertising around parenting brands. Why, he asks, does everything have to be so gendered? Being a new parent is stressful, and becoming a fresh target for incessant parent-focused advertising only makes it more so. The very worst ads try to cultivate fears about your child’s health and development, … Read more

Pull your weight: If there’s two of you, you both need to parent

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Jai Breitnauer talks about shared parenting in the 21st Century when you’re a one mother, one father family. Long, long ago, in a hemisphere far, far away, there was a little girl called Jaime who liked red ribbons in her hair, grapes in her lunchbox and horse riding at the weekend. Every morning after a … Read more

Apparently kissing your kids is weird now so we might as well all just give up

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How did we ever reach a point where ‘Is it OK to kiss your kids?’ was actually asked multiple times around the world in apparently reputable news outlets? Angela Cuming looks at one of this week’s most infuriating parenting stories. Here are things parents do that I find weird: Smacking their kids Bullying their kids … Read more

Dear māmā: For my mother, who gave me stability when I needed it most

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Josh Wharehinga is a father of six and Gisborne District Councillor, Tairāwhiti Health and Te Wānanga o Aotearoa board member. Last week he wrote about his mother on his blog and, for Mother’s Day, we’re republishing it on The Spinoff Parents. I talk a lot. All the time. I talk about what it was like … Read more

I’m not babysitting and mums are getting a raw deal: A dad on gender roles in parenting

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After being told I’m so incredibly, breathtakingly lucky that my husband watches our children when I have to travel for work, this post by Brannavan Gnanalingam was like the first pinot gris after a very long day. I too long for a day when we are all allowed to be incompetent as parents. Bring it … Read more

‘Is she breathing? Is she breathing??!’ What it’s like to have a premature baby

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Daniel Campbell’s daughter was born 11 weeks premature. Here he shares the experience and tells how you can support other parents whose children arrive early. It was May. Our baby was due in August and we were looking forward to starting antenatal classes the following week. Our very first baby, an exciting time. We were … Read more

What’s worse: the Terrible Twos or Terrible Threes?

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Prompted by his son’s recent fourth birthday, Gareth Shute look backs and decides which of the preceding “terrible” years did the most to fray his nerves. Before I was a parent, the phrases “terrible twos” and “terrible threes” were meaningless to me. I figured it was a slip of the tongue when people alternated between … Read more

Playground politics: the Greens’ Gareth Hughes on navigating life as an MP and a dad

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Most parents have to balance the needs of their family with the demands of their job, but working as an MP comes with special challenges, as Green MP Gareth Hughes explains. Since the start, my political career has run almost in tandem with my parenting career. In fact, the week I entered Parliament in early … Read more

Rapper KINGS and dad blogger Ben Tafau chat about their lives as single fathers

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Two solo dads chat about the joys and challenges of parenting and how life changed forever when their daughters were born. One is Vodafone NZ Music Awards Breakthrough Artist of the Year nominee KINGS, the man responsible for the smash hit ‘Don’t Worry ‘Bout It’. The other is Ben Tafau, author of the popular blog … Read more

No Holiday: On the decision about whether to have ‘another’

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It can start pretty quickly after your first child is born, that simple but annoying question: ‘So are you going to have a second baby?’. Simon Sweetman writes about hopes, expectations, and making one really big decision. I always wanted a daughter named Billie. Simple really. As soon as I heard Billie Holiday’s voice I … Read more

The plight of the working dad: the desire for more time

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There are benefits to being the working parent, like being able to focus on your career and avoiding much of the messy, back-breaking work of childcare. But as Brannavan Gnanalingam explains, they hardly make up for the overwhelming sense of guilt. I’m very excited about properly meeting Brannavan Gnanalingam on Saturday. I’m lucky enough to … Read more

Post-natal depression in dads: If you’re not happy and you know it…

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Many people think only mums can get post-natal depression and anxiety. In a post to mark Perinatal Awareness Week, Alan Law sets the record straight and explains how to recognise the signs – in yourself, or the new dad in your life. We don’t talk about the fact that dads get post-natal depression too. We … Read more

Rock-A-Bye my balls: Why having a vasectomy made me truly appreciate The Wiggles

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After reading the story of stay-at-home dad Cameron Leckey’s epic journey to get a vasectomy, you’ll never look at the be-skivvied quartet the same way again. We promise. I love the Wiggles. Whether it’s the original Wiggly quartet with their big red car and their ‘middle aged white man’ choreography, or Wiggles 2.0 and their … Read more