His life, his fight: Madeleine Chapman on co-writing Steven Adams’ autobiography

Spinoff writer Madeleine Chapman co-wrote basketball star Steven Adams’ autobiography, in shops next week. She tells how she wrote the book alongside an athlete she’s known since they were both teenagers. Warning: contains a lot of food. I knew of Steven Adams before I met him. A common situation now but not so much in … Read more

‘Harden up’ is precisely the wrong message to send our children

Reported comments by Waikato District Health Board interim chief executive Derek Wright and perpetual disappointment and retired ball man Mark Richardson have seen parents being told they need to tell their depressed children to harden up. Spinoff Parents editor Emily Writes wonders why old men are so committed to pushing children to their limits. Update: The … Read more

Silent lambs: Child sexual abuse and the Jehovah’s Witnesses

Best known for their door-to-door evangelising, Jehovah’s Witnesses are on a quest to save the ‘wicked’ from damnation. For victims of sexual abuse within the organisation, however, that quest has seen perpetrators shielded from justice. Amy Parsons-King has met several survivors as part of an investigation for The Spinoff. These are their stories. This feature … Read more

Book of the Week: Good Picasso, Bad Picasso, Great Picasso

Anthony Byrt reviews an exciting new study of Pablo Picasso, genius and visionary, who comedian Hannah Gadsby called out as a disgusting #metoo pig. One way to measure Picasso’s greatness is that he’s never far beneath the surface of our collective cultural consciousness. His monumental anti-fascist statement Guernica, for example – his second-most important painting … Read more

Vitamin supplements: how much should we believe the hype?

The road to health is long and winding but should it be paved with vitamin supplements? Madeleine Chapman dives into the world of monthly vitamin subscriptions. Seven-minute abs, that one trick for a slim waist, and the perfect fruit to get rid of cellulite. They all promise a better you with little to no effort. … Read more

The Wellington bus network is melting down and commuters are losing their shit

This school holiday Danyl Mclauchlan caught the bus to Wellington Zoo. It was not fun. Update 19/07: This post has been amended to include a response from Greater Wellington Regional Council, which oversees Wellington’s bus network. “Please,” I pleaded, standing in the door of a bus at Wellington’s Railway Station, my six-year old daughter’s tiny … Read more

#notyourstoo: On the Pop-Up-Globe’s ‘Abuse of Power’ season

Yesterday, the Pop-Up Globe announced their new season of work, with #metoo and #timesup hashtags flying wild in their marketing. Penny Ashton responds. “Scarce can I speak, my choler is so great: O, I could hew up rocks and fight with flint, I am so angry.”   Mate. Just like York in Shakespeare’s Henry VI right now … Read more

A ferocious debate between three implacable enemies about free speech

Phil Goff’s decision to ban two right wing Canadian provocateurs from Auckland council venues has a lot of us re-examining our views on hate speech, free speech and censorship. Danyl Mclauchlan sat down with Danyl Mclauchlan and Danyl Mclauchlan to debate the issue. Liberal Danyl: Okay, let’s try and think our way through the whole … Read more

Inside the empire of Auckland’s first couple of food

Taking over New Zealand’s most lauded restaurant is not a move for the faint-hearted, but risks tend to pay off for Sid and Chand Sahrawat. In 2014, when I first ate at Cassia, my palate was racist. I knew the food at the new modern Indian restaurant hidden down a back alley in the heart … Read more

Forgive us, O Whale, release us from your cursed tempest

The burghers of Wellington have been lashed by storms, almost certainly because the whale is angry about something. How might they seek absolution? Danyl Mclauchlan with this dispatch from the watery part of the capital A crowd of policy analysts and government communications advisers numbering in the tens of thousands marched along the Wellington foreshore … Read more

‘I believe Ani Black’: Sexual abuse and the silence that poisons communities

On Saturday, the widow of the late Tauranga Moana leader Awanui Black posted a video to Facebook about child sexual abuse and her husband. Their whanaunga Graham Cameron says her brave stand is a chance to break the cycle of silence and shame. Content warning: sexual abuse of children. If you’ve had the opportunity to … Read more

Remembering shuffling, the dance craze of the Bebo era

For a time in the late 2000s, youth of all backgrounds in this country began to dance. Don Rowe remembers the brief flash when techno became a unifying force in New Zealand. Since the beginning of time humanity has yearned to dance. From the cha cha to the charleston, trap arms to the twerk, dance … Read more

Leaked minutes from an emergency meeting about the Harbour Whale

In response to the arrival of a southern whale in Wellington harbour, a special emergency meeting of the city’s leading agencies and communications contractors was held in the early hours of this morning. Minutes from the meeting were promptly leaked to noted whale expert Emily Writes. In attendance: Acting Prime Minister Winston Peters, Mayor of … Read more

Did Bob Jones create the housing crisis? Revisiting his 1977 bestseller

Danyl Mclauchlan reads the 1977 book Bob Jones on Property, and wonders about the role it played in creating today’s distorted housing market. Sir Bob Jones has been in the news a bit recently. In February he published a column in the NBR suggesting that Waitangi Day be abolished and replaced with “Maori Gratitude Day”, in … Read more

Fight back against the fake-meat traitors and live like me, a true NZ patriot

Air New Zealand has been lambasted for serving Business Class passengers a burger without meat in it, which is obviously an assault on the NZ economy. Here The Spinoff’s leading New Zealander, Madeleine Chapman, recounts the day in the life of a true patriot  Every night, before I slide beneath my All Blacks™ duvet cover, … Read more

The talented Mr Eaglesome: my four-course dinner with a conman

Simon Day has a meal with a criminal narcissist.  Somewhere between the sweet-and-sour tripe and the dramatic dissection of the five-spiced suckling pig, we discover that our entrancing new acquaintance named Alex is actually called Wayne, and is one of New Zealand’s most prolific conmen. Over the course of the evening, and four courses of … Read more

Every New Zealander needs a third place

New Zealand Geographic editor Rebekah White examines the public spaces that connect us. Our towns and cities are lacking something important, and I was reminded of this during a recent visit to Hong Kong. There, senior citizens fill the social niche that teenagers do in Auckland. They loiter in the local square with their mates, … Read more

Spaghetti bolognese doesn’t exist: A love letter to Bologna

A quest for pasta perfection takes one carb enthusiast from Mt Eden, Auckland, to Bologna, Italy. This story originally ran in Barker’s 1972 magazine. During my three-week honeymoon in Europe, I gained 7kg. Despite spending only two days there, I believe Bologna is where the majority of the weight was assumed. I am obsessed with pasta … Read more

Meet the NZ ad guru who wants to fix weed’s PR problem

Paul Manning built one of NZ’s biggest ad agencies by transforming the image of businesses like the $2 Shop. Now he wants to do the same with cannabis. Don Rowe reports.  In a secret location somewhere south of Auckland’s CBD, New Zealand’s largest indoor cannabis operation is rising like a monolith from the earth. A concrete … Read more

With John Campbell the latest, biggest name to quit, what’s going on at RNZ?

The Checkpoint host’s departure for a new role at TVNZ is the latest blow to the public broadcaster in a tumultuous 2018. Toby Manhire attempts to get his head around it all. One of the biggest beasts of New Zealand broadcasting, John Campbell will leave RNZ on September 14, almost three years to the day … Read more

Emily Writes: You’re a bad parent with fat horrible children

Spinoff Parents editor Emily Writes has been doing some research and she’s sorry to tell you that everything is your fault. Usually I avoid stories that have titles like “It’s your fault your children are fat” and “Millennial parents: Lazy Shit-eating Scum”. Generally, it’s because I think they’re wrong but also because the horrible messages … Read more

Mike Hosking compels Mike Hosking to issue apology and correction

In a rant about media peddling nonsense, the Newstalk ZB host peddles nonsense about that Time border cover and we look forward to him saying sorry for peddling nonsense. The host of the Mike Hosking Breakfast, Mike Hosking, has left himself with no alternative but to issue an apology and correction over words spoken by … Read more

Everything you wanted to know about Matariki 2018 but were too embarrassed to ask

Welcome to the Cheat Sheet, a clickable, shareable, bite-sized FAQ on the news of the moment. Today, we look at the meaning of Matariki. Matariki is the Māori name for the Pleaides star cluster. It rises during mid-winter and marks the beginning of the Māori new year. The word is an abbreviation of Ngā Mata … Read more

What happened to C4 host Joel Defries?

In the middle of last decade, one man dominated our local music television. Then he disappeared. Elle Hunt tracks down Joel Defries, and talks to him about life as a Kiwi TV star, and what he’s been doing since. Joel Defries was once a household name. Well: in some households, between 4pm and 7pm weekdays, … Read more

Why Auckland needs to accept the objective truth, and ban all golf

Auckland’s golf courses are huge tracts of heavily subsidised land lying vacant in the middle of a housing crisis. We need to seize them all back, argues Hayden Donnell. Some of the proposals to fix Auckland’s housing crisis are debatable. Jailing all Boomers. Seizing Howick under the Public Works Act. Permanently exiling the land banking … Read more

Emily Writes: How to give birth – the definitive guide

Deep breaths, in and out: Emily Writes has you. There’s so much advice out there about how to have the perfect birth. There are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of books; many, many blogs by experts whose qualifications are “gave birth once” or “haven’t given birth but have lots of opinions” or my personal … Read more

Who Drew That? The true story of the Peach Teats calf

The Peach Teats billboard is a legitimate cult classic. In the first of a new series uncovering the stories behind classic New Zealand illustrations, Toby Morris meets the artist responsible for State Highway 1’s favourite cheeky calf. If you’ve ever driven State Highway 1 through the central North Island, you’ll have seen it. And if … Read more