One man’s desperate quest to get Pru from Renters to agree to rental reform

The show Renters is a morality play about the sufferings inflicted on landlords by their terrible tenants. Hayden Donnell talks to one of the show’s stars ahead of its seventh season, and tries to convince her to support pro-tenant rental reform. It’s impossible to dislike Pru Morrell. The star of TVNZ’s reality series Renters is … Read more

Forget lower speed limits – just pedestrianise central Auckland

Auckland has erupted into furious debate over a proposal to adopt a 30km/h speed limit in the city centre. Hayden Donnell comes up with a solution sure to please everyone.  A few days ago news broke that Auckland Transport may lower the speed limit in Auckland’s CBD to 30km/h, in an effort to make fewer … Read more

Was the octopus-seal vs kayak viral video a set-up? A Spinoff investigation

Together with a team of crack UK investigators, Hayden Donnell investigates the origin story of one of New Zealand’s most successful viral videos. It was the perfect viral moment. Kyle Mulinder was innocently paddling his kayak in the deep blue water off the coast of Kaikoura. The water was calm. Tranquil. Suddenly a seal erupted … Read more

Jacinda Ardern goes overseas, promptly emits beam of hope in our dark world

The NZ prime minister set foot in the US and immediately became a media sensation. Hayden Donnell looks at Ardern’s transformation into a beacon for our troubled world. At home, Jacinda Ardern’s life is filled with stress, trouble, and Winston Peters. She’s somehow involved in a multi-week scandal involving a person that willingly donated a … Read more

PSA: You are not dying. You have eaten beetroot

Many of us have suffered the terror of a beetroot poo, but few of us ever talk about our experience. Hayden Donnell says it’s time to bring this important issue into the light. Maybe it hasn’t happened to you yet. But it will. One day, after using the toilet, you’ll glance down and experience a … Read more

Should you microwave your wine in winter? A Spinoff investigation

After reading advice urging him to microwave red wine during the winter, Hayden Donnell angrily takes on New Zealand’s entire wine community. I was reading Kia Ora magazine’s wine column recently, as I am wont to do. Its author, the veteran wine writer and Master of Wine Bob Campbell, began his latest entry by rattling … Read more

Separating fact from fiction in the 1080 debate

Facebook is flooded with rabid anti-1080 activism, but the poison is the only barrier between many of New Zealand’s native species and extinction. Hayden Donnell goes into some 1080 facts. Anti-1080 activism has erupted into the mainstream lately, with its leaders using belligerent and intrusive social media tactics to create an increasingly radical base of … Read more

When anti-1080 activism grew noisy, and got ugly

Anti-1080 activism has exploded in popularity and intensity in the last few months. Hayden Donnell goes down the rabbit hole to find out what’s behind the movement’s rise. Nicola Toki remembers when the abuse picked up. It was a couple of months ago. Messages started appearing regularly on her Facebook wall. “What a disrespectful bitch,” … Read more

Revenge of the NIMBYs: Is council too weak to enact its own Unitary Plan?

Auckland Council has nitpicked its way into rejecting two high-density apartment developments on public transport routes near the CBD. Hayden Donnell asks whether council’s consents department really believes in the vision of the Unitary Plan. The Unitary Plan was supposed to fix things. When it passed in 2016, huge swathes of Auckland were rezoned for … Read more

What is happening? Mike Hosking and Mark Richardson both made great points

New Zealanders have woken up to a topsy turvy world this morning, with normally annoying commentators Mark Richardson and Mike Hosking talking a lot of sense, reports Hayden Donnell. Stash some canned food under your bed. Fashion your garden implements into makeshift weapons. Sprinkle the blood of a lamb or goat over your home’s threshold. … Read more

How a council email footer sparked a local government conspiracy

A rogue Auckland Council email footer has sparked a wave of angst and recriminations in the sleepy North Shore suburb Takapuna. Hayden Donnell explains footergate – and how it fits into the broader conspiracy culture in local government. These are the facts we know about the email the lobby group Generation Zero sent out to its … Read more

How NZ news livestreams became overwhelmed by anti-1080 activists

Livestreams posted on Facebook by our major news organisations have been overrun by an army of anti-1080 activists. Hayden Donnell goes in search of the source of the spam campaign. Yesterday the government announced new wheel clamping regulations. As it often does, the Herald posted live video of the press conference on Facebook. It was … Read more

Kraft peanut butter v Bega peanut butter: A Spinoff taste test for the ages

Kraft is introducing a new peanut butter to compete with Bega peanut butter, which due to some business stuff is now producing the original-recipe Kraft peanut butter. Peanut butter nutter Hayden Donnell smuggled some of the new spread into the country to test it ahead of its release here. Kraft peanut butter was once the … Read more

Consultation is overrated: why we should stop letting idiots guide us

Councillors and council officers are forever going to public meetings to receive bad advice from angry people who mostly don’t know what they’re talking about. Hayden Donnell asks why. In Takapuna last week, Mayor Phil Goff, councillors and council officers stood in front of a packed meeting and got yelled at. They’d committed the crime … Read more

How the Dark Souls video game series ruined my life

Sometimes it pays to focus on the dark side of gaming. Hayden Donnell shares the harrowing story of his own crippling addiction to Dark Souls. I’ve been going to therapy lately. A therapist will tell you many of your self-destructive behaviours can be traced back to seemingly small past traumas. Schoolyard bullying. Smacking. That scene … Read more

Seven other horrifying incidents Jacinda Ardern must immediately condemn

Judith Collins called on Jacinda Ardern to condemn France over a story she sourced from yournewswire.com. Hayden Donnell scans the site for more shocking stories about people the prime minister should condemn. Judith Collins was trawling the internet this morning when she came across a shocking story. Her news source, Yournewswire.com, accused France of becoming … Read more

No mean peat: A refined trip through the birthplace of great whisky

Featuring hints of marshmallow, Prince Charles, booze-soaked shoes and being bullied by a large Scottish man named Paul. This story originally ran in Barker’s 1972 magazine. It was 11am and I was drunk. Whisky was dribbling over the top of my glass and a large Scottish man was standing over me yelling, “Is that enough?” He … Read more

Do tenants deserve decent homes? Take our quiz!

Being a tenant in New Zealand is often a difficult and disempowering experience. Hayden Donnell looks into what’s broken in our rental housing market. The bad news is many of you will probably never own a home. Average property prices are 10 times the median household income of $92,843 in Auckland, while in New Zealand … Read more

WTF has happened to Kraft peanut butter?! Your questions answered

The world’s greatest spread underwent some frightening changes recently. Hayden Donnell delves into the animosity and legal wrangling behind the death and rebirth of Kraft Peanut Butter. The world of marketing is riven with betrayal. Taste the rainbow. The best a man can get. Don’t be evil. All broken promises. There’s only one tagline that’s … Read more

Cruisin’ on the Interislander: A loving tribute to New Zealand music’s worst gig

One of the most important shows in the country is also its worst. Spinoff staff writer and occasional musician in a band called Great North, Hayden Donnell writes about playing onboard the Interislander. Despite often being dumped in the same category at record stores, there’s not a huge amount that unifies New Zealand musicians. Our styles … Read more

All the times our new Free Speech Coalition really hated free speech

A newly formed Free Speech Coalition has raised $50,000 in one day to support the rights of two racists to speak at the Bruce Mason Centre. Hayden Donnell catalogues a few times some of the coalition members have been less fervent in their defence of free speech. David Farrar has written about his inclusion in … Read more

Why Auckland needs to accept the objective truth, and ban all golf

Auckland’s golf courses are huge tracts of heavily subsidised land lying vacant in the middle of a housing crisis. We need to seize them all back, argues Hayden Donnell. Some of the proposals to fix Auckland’s housing crisis are debatable. Jailing all Boomers. Seizing Howick under the Public Works Act. Permanently exiling the land banking … Read more

Another incredibly stupid week in the never ending transport debate

Hayden Donnell might be living far from New Zealand these days, but there’s no escape from the relentless idiocy of our transport policy debate. He runs down the latest media salvos in the battle between road warriors and public transport champions. I’ve been in London for a while now. It can be tough being so … Read more

Huzza! (Re)introducing The Spinoff’s Ultimate Summer Media Drinking Game

Ever noticed that every summer news story is recycled from previous years? We’ve even regurgitated this story by former sadsack reporter Hayden Donnell (with a few updates to make it appear relevant) who last year designed a drinking game to improve, or at least anaesthetise, your holiday news reading experience. The news will be the … Read more

Summer Reissue: Finding Rosemary: In search of the unsung hero who invented Kiwi Onion Dip

Who invented Kiwi Onion Dip, and why isn’t there a gold statue of that person on top of Mt Cook? Hayden Donnell goes on a wildly emotional search for an unheralded New Zealand genius. This post was first published February 20, 2017. The woman on the other end of the phone line sounded theatrically English, … Read more

Why the UK is the gaming industry’s secret MVP

The Spinoff’s Blighty correspondent Hayden Donnell meets some UK game developers to find out why the US gaming industry might be better off shifting operations to the Motherland. Silicon Valley has given us a few good things. Windows 95. The time Bill Gates drank poo water. Atari. The TV show Silicon Valley. It’s not all … Read more

Please pray for these Aucklanders whose homes are making too much money

There’s a lot of trouble in Auckland right now. Homelessness is growing. Many mostly-young or poor people are facing the prospect of never owning a home in the city. But this week the media has highlighted the plight of another group of Aucklanders who are doing it tough: people whose houses are making too much … Read more