Who are the most powerful figures in New Zealand literature? The most respected, the most admired, the most sucked-up-to? A panel of experts sat down and bitched and argued until they agreed on a ranking to end all rankings. Their methodology was precise. Much of it was based on the level of fear they would … Read more
The halfway point in the ITM Cup came and went over the weekend with Canterbury playing with all the precision of the Hyundai assembly line, the Turbos getting a first win, and Tasman making it 5-0 to start the year with a second half feast against the Lions. With the Makos taking on their bogey … Read more
It may not have the pizzazz of the Super Rugby season or the hype of the Rugby World Cup, but make no mistake: the ITM Cup is the best ten weeks of rugby this year, and every year. Where else do grown men run around in the kind of deer outfit that would make a … Read more
Arbitrarily split into five political players whose power is growing and five going the other way, these rankings will become a monthly event. For the purposes of this glittering premiere, however, the month of August will be considered to run from August 1 through to September 10. All complaints should be directed to your local … Read more
Season eight of Doctor Who has arrived on Lightbox today, with Peter Capaldi making his debut as The Doctor. José Barbosa power ranks the Doctors as they have regenerated through the ages. There was a time the way the BBC felt about Doctor Who was analogous to how most people feel about flatulence in enclosed spaces: … Read more
Tara Ward ranks her favourite moments from the past week of Ferndale hijinks. This week: Pixie gets a watery send-off, Drew gets passionate and everyone else gets sweaty. 1) Harry steps up to speak out Poor ol’ Harry is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Just like that time he fell in … Read more
Two weeks since the last CDWMNZ scraps were scraped off our televisual plate, Alex Casey (big fan) and Joseph Moore (official Come Dine With Me NZ joke punch-up guy) mercilessly rank all 40 contestants from the first well-seasoned season. Story has officially made it to our screens, causing us to forget about Come Dine With Me NZ faster than a … Read more
Tara Ward ranks her favourite moments from the past week of Ferndale hijinks. This week: Pania exits stage left, Harry spews a geyser and we mourn for poor Pixie. 1) RIP Pikitea When last Friday’s episode ended with the Hannah whanau enjoying a rare state of joy, it could only mean one thing: grief … Read more
Alex Casey delivers her semi-final round of Dancing With the Stars power rankings, including deep conspiracies, low-resolution underwear decals and a winning NZ flag pitch. It’s semifinals week, and we are all but a meat hand away from the finish line. The couples each performed two dances this time around, which meant far less time … Read more
Alex Casey delivers her sixth power rankings for Dancing With the Stars NZ, including an audience member’s momentous belch and Chrystal Chenery’s revival of Joe Dirt-based insults. I wasn’t around in the ‘80s, but boy oh boy do I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives in it now. It was all about shocks this … Read more
I love the films, me. In fact, the only thing I love more than a lovely film is a lovely, lovely episode of Dancing With the Stars NZ. You should have seen my face when I found out my two favourite things were colliding! Oh the possibilities! Oh the opportunities for beautiful homages to the … Read more
Alex Casey delivers her fourth power rankings for winter wonderland week of Dancing With the Stars, wherein hell freezes over, Pam gets eliminated and Teuila does the running man. The power rankings are a little late this week, as I have been very busy rocking gently in a corner, despairingly imagining the next few weeks … Read more
Elyse Robêrt brings us this week’s Shortland Street power rankings, covering the brownie-assisted highs and cancer-assisted lows of life in Ferndale. Tis the season – the winter season. And that means more Shorty, 30 minutes more to be precise. We’re missing the Warners who are still off on their fancy holiday; Kylie is inadequately jealous … Read more
What a sexy week. Actually no, sexy then devastating. Like dropping a delicious gateau into a pile of mud. Or, indeed, dropping a scandal queenie onto a dancefloor on national television. The elimination of Colin Mathura Jeffree has sent shockwaves through the nation, with the social movement #CornrowsforColin truly taking Twitter by force. Goodbye my … Read more
Elyse Robêrt brings us the debut of our Shortland Street power rankings, covering the waxing and waning of Ferndale’s babe medic community. This week was full of classic Shorty behaviour from some of our favourite Tāmaki Makaurau residents. TK was grumpy about everything, Boyd was in Melbourne but still managed to be bossy, and that … Read more
Alex Casey’s second power rankings for Dancing With the Stars NZ, including Maz Quinn’s elimination, Siobhan Marshall’s dog and Shane Cameron’s microwave technique. If there has ever been anything to convince me of the validity of Mercury Retrograde, it’s Dancing With the Stars NZ. Basically, Mercury is seemingly zooming backwards through the zodiac for a few weeks, and … Read more
Alex Casey delivers her first power rankings for Dancing With the Stars NZ, including Pam Corkery’s boob jiggling, Simon Barnett’s spray tan and Shane Cameron’s meat hands. Dancing With the Stars came samba-ing (and Simba-ing, weirdly) back onto our screens this week after a six year hiatus that approximately nobody had noticed. Ten celebrities. Ten … Read more
Duncan Greive forces out a final Power Rankings, ending this dreadful season of X Factor NZ with a reflection on what turned a once-enjoyable show into an epic, endless waking nightmare. When this season of X Factor NZ first entered this world, blind, tearful and covered in blood, New Zealand was a very different nation. … Read more
“When you try your best/ But you don’t succeed,” sang Stevie Tonks last night, in a song dedicated to his mother, which seemed pretty dark. But all I could think of was how well the song’s sentiment and gloomy tone matched this episode, and the series as a whole. Everyone involved has tried so damn … Read more
Alex Casey delivers her (possibly) final power rankings for The Bachelor NZ. With a winner decided, it’s time to rank the greatest moments of the final week in paradise. We made it guys, finally tottering along the sandy shores of love to the finalé. And what a finale episode it was – like the producers … Read more
Last week I was in Ohakune for the X Factor NZ live show, hungover from a 40th the night before, and therefore in the perfect intellectual state to consume 1.5 hours of TV singing show. Around 5pm I turned on the rental bach’s hitherto unused television – an LG old enough that it was two … Read more
Sitting on the couch of scrutiny right next to the barbecue of trust, Alex Casey delivers her seventh power rankings in our weekly series. If you missed last week’s power rankings, click here. As visionary artisté Skylar Grey once sang, “I’m coming home, I’m coming home – tell the world I’m coming home” and this was … Read more
With his predictions going hugely awry for the last few weeks, Duncan Greive decided to take some time out from the noble task of power ranking. Spending the long weekend in Ohakune, he meditated next to the giant carrot – hoping to gain the strength to be able to see anything promising in the dark … Read more
Rowing endlessly around The Bachelor NZ pond of love, Alex Casey delivers her sixth power rankings in our weekly series. If you missed last week’s power rankings, click here. This week The Bachelor NZ was about as juicy and satisfying as a face-sized burger eaten without a knife and fork because the Burger People didn’t have … Read more
With the X Factor NZ going from bad to worse, Alex Casey watches Sesame Street’s Singing With the Stars in an attempt to get back to the music. Sesame Street first began in 1969, and in its first season featured the cameo appearances of BB King, Don McLean and Carol Burnett. Over the next few … Read more
A confession: Sometimes when I sit staring uncomprehendingly at the blinking cursor, trying to figure out how something which once brought me so much joy came to be such a chore, I lean back and think of the winter of 2013. It was very cold, my wife very pregnant and our house a building site. … Read more
After blow-karting down The Bachelor NZ race track of love, Alex Casey delivers her fifth power rankings in our weekly series. If you missed last week’s power rankings, click here. Call the ambulance – nay (neigh, lol get it), the morgue. I’m officially dead after this week. We’ve been thrown down waterfalls, had our wrists broken and … Read more
Double elimination. Two words, either heavenly or horrific. They sounded so sweet to us at home, carrying with them the promise of a shorter show, relieved of two more can’t-winners from this cursed season. To the performers they were a chill wind blowing through their mansion, a reminder that their dreamy existence – fame, coaching, … Read more
After a an exciting wet and wild week on The Bachelor NZ, Alex Casey delivers her fourth power rankings in our weekly series. If you missed previous power rankings, head here. // Yet another great week traversing the rose petal-lined path to true love. But before we begin, let’s check in with Art to see how his workout is … Read more