Columns

We downloaded our Facebook data and all we got was this lousy list of random stuff

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Inspired by the controversy over Facebook’s exploitation of users’ personal information, four Spinoff staffers downloaded their data. Here’s what they found. After revelations that 50 million Facebook users had their personal information improperly obtained by data mining company Cambridge Analytica, Wellington software developer Dylan McKay downloaded his Facebook data, and found some personal information he believes … Read more

Every single Warriors season, power-ranked

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After ending their dreadful 2017 season with a 9-game losing streak, the Warriors will be looking to create some more positive memories for their beleaguered fans. But where does last year’s abysmal failure sit within the pantheon of poor performances? James Dann looks back over the club’s history since 1995 to rank each of their … Read more

Throwback Thursday: Did Dave Dobbyn write the greatest New Zealand TV theme song?

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What is the greatest New Zealand TV theme song ever written? Our search continues with a long forgotten Dave Dobbyn masterpiece from 1989. Previously in our search for New Zealand’s greatest TV theme song: Country Calendar Any major boomer will tell you: 1980s New Zealand was a different world. A world where you could smoke … Read more

Monitor: There’s a good show hiding on the man channel

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For Monitor this week, Aaron Yap basks in the grinning goofiness of DUKE’s Angie Tribeca, the best cop show spoof you probably aren’t watching.  My tastes in comedy tend to drift towards fare like Louie and Curb Your Enthusiasm, where laughter stems from dark, cringe-making, cankerous worldviews of the human condition. But revisiting The Naked Gun … Read more

Monitor: A list of TV to movie adaptations that don’t absolutely suck

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Recent TV-to-film flubs such as Ab Fab: The Movie and David Brent: Life on the Road have proved that the transition is not always easy. Aaron Yap rounds up the television shows that have managed to make it to the big screen without stuffing it up.  Ricky Gervais should have put David Brent to rest … Read more

Shortland Street Power Rankings – Victoria dies a deeply dissatisfying death

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Tara Ward brings you her rankings for Shortland Street last week, including Victoria’s annoying death and a classic Warner seduction. 1) Victoria dies a wooden death What the bloody hell, Shortland Street? For months we’ve trudged along the dark and boggy trail of the ‘Who Shot Drew’ storyline. We trusted you’d lead us out of the shitstorm … Read more

Throwback Thursday: A scientist tests Police Ten 7’s ‘blow on the pie’ thermonuclear theory

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With Police Ten 7 celebrating 500 episodes tonight, Professor Allan Blackman applies rigorous scientific analysis to the show’s most iconic moment.  Can it really be seven years since the world was first introduced to the hilariously deadpan Sgt Guy Baldwin on Police Ten 7? His advice to Glen – a surly teen who supposedly had the 3am … Read more

E3 2016 power rankings: the best announcements by the big boys of the video game industry

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Kermath, The Spinoff’s man at E3, has delivered his thoughts on this week’s briefings offered by some of the main players in the video game industry. Sony, EA, Bethesda, Microsoft, Ubisoft: all have spent serious cash announcing release dates for their forthcoming games and gear. This is how the individual extravaganzas break down. Every year … Read more

Throwback Thursday: What qualities make up the typical lovely New Zealand girl (in 1969)?

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Curious to see what life was like for young New Zealand women of a different era, Alex Casey turns to a 1969 special about beauty queens for a historical wake-up call. It’s hard yakka being a woman sometimes, with everyone screaming at us to hide our bra straps, contour our faces and clap for all … Read more

Jesse Mulligan will announce the winners of Surrey Hotel Residency live on air on Friday!

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The winners of our “exciting” new writers residency award will be announced live on air this Friday by Jesse Mulligan. Famous broadcaster Jesse Mulligan will announce the winners of the inaugural Surrey Hotel Steve Braunias Memorial Writers Residency in Association with The Spinoff Award on his Radio New Zealand show on Friday . The new … Read more

Throwback Thursday: Can you stomach Suzy Cato and the Giant Bean Poo?

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Janie Cameron details the horror of watching iconic New Zealand children’s television presenter Suzy Cato transform a kiwi favourite into the unthinkable.  As a child of the ’90s, Suzy Cato taught me many things: the perils of headlice, how to water a person, and perhaps most importantly, that you’re never too old for a scrunchie. Despite … Read more

Games within games – the Spinoff mini-game power rankings

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It’s gotten so developers can’t seem to help put chuck in the occasional mini-game to give red-eyed gamers a respite from the main action. A cabal of Spinoff writers have come together to provide a ranking of their favourite wee games nested within bigger games. 1) Gwent from The Witcher 3 Gwent! It’s blackjack meets … Read more

Throwback Thursday: The dream of the ’90s is alive in Flatmates

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Before the Housewives, before the Bachelorettes, there were the Flatmates. Calum Henderson revisits one of New Zealand’s first gritty, no-frills attempts at reality television. Like everything else on this dying earth, reality television is subject to a slow and irreversible erosion. Over the years, the genre’s rough edges have been gradually worn down, leaving a … Read more

Throwback Thursday: Nikki Kaye remembers being New Zealand’s original Survivor

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Sarah Robson reminisces with National MP Nikki Kaye about her time on Fish Out of Water, the reality show that was dumping people on an island years before Survivor. In 1996, before the term “reality TV” entered our everyday lexicon, TV3 decided to strand six Auckland teenagers on Rakitu Island in the Hauraki Gulf. They were … Read more

The Bachelor NZ Group Think, Week 10: What have we learned, really?

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After the finale of The Bachelor NZ, some of the greatest minds in the country* assemble to talk about what they’ve learned from Mauger Jordan and the bacholerettes this season. Duncan Greive on some Maugerly dangerous sex advice Despite all the helicopters and extreme water sports, there were no injuries this season beyond Erin’s cold – … Read more

Throwback Thursday: On the return of Mark Thomas – the tragic, unforgettable star of Campaign

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Mark Thomas was just 30 when, on the cusp of becoming a National MP, he was publicly knifed by his own Prime Minister and made history. He was our first sacrificial lamb under the MMP electoral system, ruthlessly cut by Jim Bolger two days before general election day in 1996, when National decided Act’s Richard … Read more

The Bachelor NZ Power Rankings, Week Nine – Who will Jordan gobble up?

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Jordan was ravenous for love on the Bachelor NZ this week, overnighting with Naz and Fleur – but sending poor Erin home after she failed to notice he is physically indistinguishable from Aragorn. It was all hometowns and fantasy dates this week or, as The Bachelor NZ likes to call it “terrible chat with a brother-in-law … Read more

A champion is crowned – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga, Week Six

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Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, Māori television’s reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. The Game of Bros champion has been crowned after seven long weeks of baby oil, Ludus hoodies, and coconut cream. While the whole series has been primarily focused on the humour and silliness, this finale … Read more

Throwback Thursday: Will New Zealand ever recover from Melody Rules?

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For Throwback Thursday this week, Claire Adamson arms herself with a bottle of wine and revisits the worst comedy series that New Zealand has ever made. In the early ’90s, a young and misguided television station called TV3 made a show so terrible that its name has become a byword for bad TV in this … Read more

The Fantasy Suite – A Bachelor NZ podcast, Week Nine: Time for a big ol’ emotional dump

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There’s a new Bachelor, a new mansion, and the same old dorks talking about it. The Fantasy Suite is The Spinoff’s weekly podcast about The Bachelor NZ, hosted by Jane Yee with Alex Casey and Duncan Greive. Have a listen below, or download here on iTunes, or here on Stitcher. This week in The Fantasy … Read more

Shortland Street Power Rankings: Fifty shades of Ferndale

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Tara Ward brings you her Shortland Street Power Rankings for last week, including Leanne’s street talk, Ali’s book tease, and the Warner’s controversial new room. 1) Norelle calls time on Ferndale and everything else basically  This was a bloody howler. The tears poured down my face like Huka Falls in flood when Norelle passed away, with … Read more

‘Oka! What is he doing?’ – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga, Week Six

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Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, Māori television’s reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. Last night was the penultimate episode of Game of Bros. The semi final. The final bend. That last spoonful of palusami before you’re left with the perfect ratio of taro and coconut cream. Sticking to … Read more

Remembering the time the Ingham twins put Paul Holmes to the ultimate test

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Hayden Donnell looks back on one of New Zealand’s most iconic interviews. In December 1997, two teenage girls gave Paul Holmes the sternest test of his storied interviewing career. The Ingham twins, both 18, had gone to extraordinary lengths for love. Sarah had fallen for a sailor. Her sister Joanna decided to help her pursue … Read more

Bachelor NZ Group Think, Week Seven: Is Jordan actually a mannequin?

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After week seven on The Bachelor NZ, some of the greatest minds in the country* assemble to talk about the big issues including Jordan’s poor connecting skills, that mannequin, and life after The Bachelor. Anny Ma on Connect Four Never trust somebody who can’t play Connect Four. Never trust Beyoncé when you lose to her in Connect … Read more

“Are you seriously?” – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga, Week Five

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Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, Māori television’s reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. On Wednesday morning I walked past Louis on my way to work and didn’t say anything. Moving on. Last night Aunty Henga was called away from the dinner table to “come watch your … Read more

Throwback Thursday: Being Eve and the fantasy of the Y2K New Zealand teen

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Katie Parker reopens the locker of her adolescence in Being Eve, the local teen series brimming with asymmetrical tank tops, IRL dating and fourth wall-breaking. Like all naive pre-teens, at the age of 10 all I wanted in the world was to hit adolescence. Whether I was trimming my non-existent leg hair with scissors or studying … Read more

Bachelor NZ Group Think, Week Six: How dare they not eat cheese

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After week six on The Bachelor NZ, some of the greatest minds in the country* assemble to talk about the big issues including Ceri’s tragic expressions and eerie similarities with Twilight. Anny Ma on rejected cheese What kind of world do we live in where I have to watch two people walk away from a guaranteed love … Read more

KFC Super Rugby power rankings week 7: The least talked about star of Super Rugby

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The Chiefs still top the rankings after a close call against the Blues, but the Hurricanes are breathing down their necks following a niggly win over the Jaguares in Wellington. Scotty Stevenson sorts it all out in the KFC Super Rugby Power Rankings. 1. Chiefs Rd 7: 29-23 v Blues Last week: 1 (N/C) Yes, … Read more