Every single Warriors season, power-ranked

After ending their dreadful 2017 season with a 9-game losing streak, the Warriors will be looking to create some more positive memories for their beleaguered fans. But where does last year’s abysmal failure sit within the pantheon of poor performances? James Dann looks back over the club’s history since 1995 to rank each of their … Read more

Shortland Street Power Rankings – Victoria dies a deeply dissatisfying death

Tara Ward brings you her rankings for Shortland Street last week, including Victoria’s annoying death and a classic Warner seduction. 1) Victoria dies a wooden death What the bloody hell, Shortland Street? For months we’ve trudged along the dark and boggy trail of the ‘Who Shot Drew’ storyline. We trusted you’d lead us out of the shitstorm … Read more

E3 2016 power rankings: the best announcements by the big boys of the video game industry

Kermath, The Spinoff’s man at E3, has delivered his thoughts on this week’s briefings offered by some of the main players in the video game industry. Sony, EA, Bethesda, Microsoft, Ubisoft: all have spent serious cash announcing release dates for their forthcoming games and gear. This is how the individual extravaganzas break down. Every year … Read more

Games within games – the Spinoff mini-game power rankings

It’s gotten so developers can’t seem to help put chuck in the occasional mini-game to give red-eyed gamers a respite from the main action. A cabal of Spinoff writers have come together to provide a ranking of their favourite wee games nested within bigger games. 1) Gwent from The Witcher 3 Gwent! It’s blackjack meets … Read more

The Bachelor NZ Power Rankings, Week Nine – Who will Jordan gobble up?

Jordan was ravenous for love on the Bachelor NZ this week, overnighting with Naz and Fleur – but sending poor Erin home after she failed to notice he is physically indistinguishable from Aragorn. It was all hometowns and fantasy dates this week or, as The Bachelor NZ likes to call it “terrible chat with a brother-in-law … Read more

A champion is crowned – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga, Week Six

Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, Māori television’s reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. The Game of Bros champion has been crowned after seven long weeks of baby oil, Ludus hoodies, and coconut cream. While the whole series has been primarily focused on the humour and silliness, this finale … Read more

Shortland Street Power Rankings: Fifty shades of Ferndale

Tara Ward brings you her Shortland Street Power Rankings for last week, including Leanne’s street talk, Ali’s book tease, and the Warner’s controversial new room. 1) Norelle calls time on Ferndale and everything else basically  This was a bloody howler. The tears poured down my face like Huka Falls in flood when Norelle passed away, with … Read more

‘Oka! What is he doing?’ – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga, Week Six

Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, Māori television’s reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. Last night was the penultimate episode of Game of Bros. The semi final. The final bend. That last spoonful of palusami before you’re left with the perfect ratio of taro and coconut cream. Sticking to … Read more

“Are you seriously?” – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga, Week Five

Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, Māori television’s reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. On Wednesday morning I walked past Louis on my way to work and didn’t say anything. Moving on. Last night Aunty Henga was called away from the dinner table to “come watch your … Read more

KFC Super Rugby power rankings week 7: The least talked about star of Super Rugby

The Chiefs still top the rankings after a close call against the Blues, but the Hurricanes are breathing down their necks following a niggly win over the Jaguares in Wellington. Scotty Stevenson sorts it all out in the KFC Super Rugby Power Rankings. 1. Chiefs Rd 7: 29-23 v Blues Last week: 1 (N/C) Yes, … Read more

“I don’t even know their names” – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga, Week Four

Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, Māori television’s reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. This week on Game of Bros, the challenges revolved around food and cooking. Naturally Aunty Henga and I ate KFC for dinner whilst planting our judging eyes on the final seven bros. In memory of … Read more

The Bachelor NZ Power Rankings, Week Four – How far can you spit giraffe poo?

Alex Casey assembles her contestant power rankings for week four, including Naz the poet laureate, bad tattoos and too many soft toys. Aloha minions, welcome to another week on the greatest show in the world, now bearing the once-in-a-lifetime offer in which you get to pay top dollar to sit somewhere near Jordan Mauger and The … Read more

The Bachelor NZ Power Rankings, Week Three – If I was in Jordan’s shoes, I would pick me too

Alex Casey assembles her contestant power rankings for week three, including near-death experiences, cocktail kisses and a spectacular vomit from the frontrunner. It was a week that promised “thrills and spills” on The Bachelor NZ, a promise that mostly delivered on one contestant – and shortly after the entire nation – being sick in their mouths. … Read more

“They’re just showing off their muscles” – Judging the uso of Game of Bros with Aunty Henga

Madeleine Chapman and her Aunty Henga assess the skills, builds, and tattoos in Game of Bros, a reality quest for the ultimate Polynesian warrior. Game of Bros premiered last night on Māori television after much anticipation and illegal advertising. The show seeks to find the ultimate island warrior, pitting twelve men against each other in various traditional tasks. … Read more

KFC Super Rugby power rankings: Week 2 – UPDATED – Reds coach gets the flick

Scotty Stevenson takes stock of Super Rugby after a round where the Blues went stumbling back to their home in the loss column, the Highlanders inflicted more pain on the Hurricanes, and the Lions remained on track for a perfect season. 1. The Brumbies Rd 2: 32-15 v Waratahs Last week: 1 (N/C) This team is 80% machine, 20% Stephen … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 9 – One Last Pita For the Road

The Block NZ is all over bar the auction room shouting. There’s time for one last round of Pita Pit, and one last Power Rankings, before Houses 1 through 4 go under the hammer on Sunday night. 1. Brooke & Mitch – House 4 What would The Block NZ have been without Brooke and Mitch? … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 8 – Wall You Marry Me?

Somebody pops the question next week on The Block NZ – but is it Jeremy proposing to the love of his life Cat, Sarah’s boyfriend to Sarah, or Mitch to this bit of GIB board he’s weirdly infatuated with? No idea, sorry, but here are the Power Rankings all the same. 1. (Last Week: 3) … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 7 – Is Dale the Al Borland of The Block?

Everyone sort of loses their minds as terrifying new creative performance challenge ‘Block Stars’  consumes Backyard Week on The Block NZ: Villa Wars. 1. (Last Week: 2) Cat & Jeremy – House 3 While technically Brooke and Mitch are probably still ‘winning’ The Block NZ, it’s good buggers Cat and Jeremy who hold all the … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 6 – A Cake From the Spirit World

Has a seemingly sweet and kind gesture from primary school students cursed every contestant on The Block to hell? And more importantly, has it had any effect whatsoever on the Power Rankings? 1. (Last Week: 1) Brooke & Mitch – House 4 Despite investing heavily in The Block NZ’s first glass-encased outdoor television, Brooke and Mitch’s … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 5 – Sleeveless Shirts and Strategic Scoring

In a week marred by a despicable act by Brooke and Mitch and rescued by the thrilling plank challenge, Calum Henderson wonders if anyone can possibly topple the three-peat room reveal winners. 1. (Last Week: 1) Brooke & Mitch – House 4 With a crushing inevitability, Master Bedroom & Ensuite Bathroom Week provided a third … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 4 – Mark Richardson Scores a Duck

In a week dominated by Sally Ridge-inspired arts & craft challenges, Calum Henderson assesses the hopes and dreams of the increasingly sick, tired and furious Block NZ contestants. 1. (Last Week: 1) Brooke & Mitch – House 4 The Brooke and Mitch juggernaut rolled on through Living Room Week. The pair’s Heartland conservatism and attention to … Read more

TV: Shortland Street Power Rankings, 26 October – Love in a Hardware Store?

Tara Ward brings you this week’s Shortland Street Power Rankings, highlighted by Ferndale’s own Rawshark, Dayna finding love in a hardware store and a diagnostic demon in ED. 1. Damo is Dick of the Week™ Damo was batshit crazy this week and Shortland Street was all the better for it. Jealous of Chris’ superior wealth, … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 3 – The Return of the Rhombus Daybed

The villas are being fitted with expensive and unnecessary fireplaces and Dinner Wars hangs precariously in the balance – Calum Henderson ranks the Block NZ teams going into the break in living room week. 1. (Last Week: 2) – Brooke & Mitch – House 4 A low cloud of inevitability rolled over the Sandringham / … Read more

Power Ranking Christchurch Public Art Biennial SCAPE 8

The eighth iteration of Christchurch’s public art biennial SCAPE opened earlier this month, clustered around the CBD. Subtitled New Intimacies, it aims to bring people back into the centre of the rebuilding city with works from local and international artists. Is there a better way to analyse a complex collection of artworks than the Spinoff’s … Read more

Television: My Kitchen Rules Power Rankings, Week Two – It Puts the Lotion on the Cake

Alex Casey delivers her power rankings for week two of MKRNZ, including Laurence’s new character ‘Stace’ and the worst restaurant theme television has ever seen.  We’re in week two and I’m just so glad that we are all becoming friends. The contestants are letting their guards down, warming up to each other and repeatedly touching … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week Two – Moss Walls and Mad Wizards

As we await the results of the vitally important Bathroom Week on The Block NZ: Villa Wars, Calum Henderson looks at how the teams are tracking. 1. Cat & Jeremy – House 3 The happy-go-lucky couple on the corner are leading a charmed life on The Block NZ, scooping Kid’s Bedroom Week from under Jamie and … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings, Week One – Daybeds and Dick Moves

To celebrate the arbitrary three-day respite TV3 have offered us from The Block NZ: Villa Wars, Calum Henderson looks back at the last week-and-a-bit of daybed dramas, dangerous drilling, dick moves and a hundred pre-line inspections. 1) Cat & Jeremy – House 3 The New Plymouth jokers took out first week honours with their guest bedroom … Read more

Books: Who’s The Most Popular Kid in School? Power Ranking NZ Children’s Literature

Now that the dust has settled on the weekend’s Tinderbox Children’s Writers and Illustrators conference in Wellington, time to ask: who are the most powerful people in children’s literature? Tricky thing, power. Are the most powerful people in the New Zealand children’s book world those that are recognised internationally as experts? Do they need to … Read more

Sports: Scotty Stevenson’s ITM Cup Power Rankings Week 3

With just three rounds left in the regular season, and with no guarantees on final placings, the time has come for the latest installment in our weekly ITM Cup Power Rankings. From corporatised sea life to coaching rodents, it was another week that gave plenty and – in true Provincial fashion – expected nothing in … Read more