Elyse Robêrt brings us the debut of our Shortland Street power rankings, covering the waxing and waning of Ferndale’s babe medic community. This week was full of classic Shorty behaviour from some of our favourite Tāmaki Makaurau residents. TK was grumpy about everything, Boyd was in Melbourne but still managed to be bossy, and that … Read more
Joseph Moore discovers The Bros NZ, an acoustic supergroup lurking in Grey Lynn that features Step Dave from Step Dave banging on a box. And so much more. The journey from mildly well-known Shortland Street star to legit-as-musician is a path that has been often travelled, yet seldom nailed. There have been valiant attempts. Paul … Read more
Alex Casey remembers her most traumatic childhood television experience – watching videotapes of body horror kids’ show Round the Twist at primary school. My primary school had a reliever teacher called Mr Anchor. He would cycle in from the next town on a rickety bike, absolutely laden with bags of trinkets and musical instruments. If your … Read more
Alex Casey’s second power rankings for Dancing With the Stars NZ, including Maz Quinn’s elimination, Siobhan Marshall’s dog and Shane Cameron’s microwave technique. If there has ever been anything to convince me of the validity of Mercury Retrograde, it’s Dancing With the Stars NZ. Basically, Mercury is seemingly zooming backwards through the zodiac for a few weeks, and … Read more
Aaron Yap watches the first three episodes of TV2’s Empire, and dissects how his new guilty pleasure successfully blends legitimate themes with soapy absurdities. If Fox’s Empire confirms one thing, it’s my suspicion that showrunner Lee Daniels should’ve done TV a long time ago. On the big screen, the producer/director has often been slapped with … Read more
Alex Casey delivers her first power rankings for Dancing With the Stars NZ, including Pam Corkery’s boob jiggling, Simon Barnett’s spray tan and Shane Cameron’s meat hands. Dancing With the Stars came samba-ing (and Simba-ing, weirdly) back onto our screens this week after a six year hiatus that approximately nobody had noticed. Ten celebrities. Ten … Read more
Stevie TV is a monthly column by Steve Braunias. In this instalment, he recalls the many faces of John Campbell through the ages. The final of Campbell Live on Friday night marks the end of an era which encompasses the entire history of New Zealand since the coming of Captain Cook. The show, and its genial … Read more
Aaron Yap reflects on his own recent hate-watching of Arrow, Under the Dome and Catfish, and attempts to get to the bottom of this bizarre viewing phenomenon. I’m currently watching Arrow and I sort of hate it. It’s the first of the current, intimidatingly large batch of superhero shows I’ve dipped into. An adaptation of a … Read more
In the wake of the X Factor NZ finale, Claire Adamson rewatches Popstars – and discovered much more compelling insights into the world of manufactured superstardom. The weird thing about rewatching Popstars – the Kiwi show that started it all – is the fact that it’s not a reality tv show as we know them today. It’s … Read more
In light of her new music video and dominance of the entire world, Alex Casey revisits Taylor Swift’s less-celebrated cameo appearance on CSI. All this flat-out commotion about Taylor Swift’s new star-stuffed ‘Bad Blood’ video has distracted us all from her most stellar onscreen performance – her dramatic cameo role on CSI. It’s infinitely more violent than … Read more
In the final Group Think for X Factor NZ 2015, the Spinoff writers assemble one last time to express their frustrations, pitch future projects and remember the good times many KillsMoons ago. Jack Riddell on Advice for Beau Shot Beau, na, straight up g, you were fuckin’ sik and way better than Stevie Tonks. Thanks to … Read more
Duncan Greive forces out a final Power Rankings, ending this dreadful season of X Factor NZ with a reflection on what turned a once-enjoyable show into an epic, endless waking nightmare. When this season of X Factor NZ first entered this world, blind, tearful and covered in blood, New Zealand was a very different nation. … Read more
For this Music Monday, Robyn Gallagher samples the various global tunes on offer in this year’s Eurovision competition. The Eurovision Song Competition is massive. It’s like a cross between an Olympic Games opening ceremony, the Super Bowl halftime show and an American Idol final – all in aid of determining the best new song Europe … Read more
For this Throwback Thursday, Calum Henderson watches Gary McCormick’s Heartland special on the tiger-footed town of Wainuiomata. Two big national events from the winter of 1994: in Dunedin, someone with the last name Bain shot his whole family, and in Wainuiomata, Gary McCormick shot an interview with a woman called Chloe for the TV show … Read more
After a week of Mother’s Day tunes, number one hits and Bachelor cameos, our think tank meets again to discuss week 13 on X Factor NZ. Robyn Gallagher on The Vibesmums I can’t help feel ripped off that Steve Broad was eliminated the week before the Mother’s Day show. If he’d been around this week, he’d … Read more
“When you try your best/ But you don’t succeed,” sang Stevie Tonks last night, in a song dedicated to his mother, which seemed pretty dark. But all I could think of was how well the song’s sentiment and gloomy tone matched this episode, and the series as a whole. Everyone involved has tried so damn … Read more
As The Bachelor NZ contestants have been whittled down, so too have our Group Think contributors. In the final instalment, Art and Matilda’s wedding is envisaged and a brand new, very old, conspiracy is unearthed. Melanie Bracewell on The Rural Maid Matilda won! But I’ve done a little research that might shock you all. I was … Read more
With Noel coming to town this week for the NZ International Comedy Festival, Alex Casey breaks down some of his absurd hits from The Mighty Boosh. I can only assume that when Noel Fielding arrives in New Zealand this week, it will be on a bedazzled polystyrene unicorn. Just orbiting around and around baggage claim, … Read more
Alex Casey delivers her (possibly) final power rankings for The Bachelor NZ. With a winner decided, it’s time to rank the greatest moments of the final week in paradise. We made it guys, finally tottering along the sandy shores of love to the finalé. And what a finale episode it was – like the producers … Read more
Aaron Yap watches the first two seasons of sci-fi series Orphan Black, and hopes for just as many fast-paced, character-driven clone thrills from the lead roles in the third season. When Orphan Black debuted on BBC America in 2013, it seemed to come out of nowhere. A bolt of fresh, femme-powered lightning into a television market … Read more
The brave Spinoff knights meet at the television roundtable to discuss week 12 on X Factor NZ, including Steve’s real age, Shelton’s fake hat and Stan’s copycat tears. Robyn Gallagher on the Charity Single Remember the charity single? It was released only three weeks ago, but a very a strange thing is happening in the … Read more
This is the debut of ‘Reissue’, an occasional column which will bring back a classic feature from the vaults to pleasure a nation anew. First up: Rose Hoare’s discovery of the dimly-lit daytime pleasures of Days of Our Lives, which returns to New Zealand screens after a two years absence via Lightbox today. Originally published in … Read more
Last week I was in Ohakune for the X Factor NZ live show, hungover from a 40th the night before, and therefore in the perfect intellectual state to consume 1.5 hours of TV singing show. Around 5pm I turned on the rental bach’s hitherto unused television – an LG old enough that it was two … Read more
Sitting on the couch of scrutiny right next to the barbecue of trust, Alex Casey delivers her seventh power rankings in our weekly series. If you missed last week’s power rankings, click here. As visionary artisté Skylar Grey once sang, “I’m coming home, I’m coming home – tell the world I’m coming home” and this was … Read more
What to do with Krishnan Guru-Murthy and his TV interview with Robert Downey Jnr? What to think, what to learn? What, above all, to make of that lamp? It’s more than a lamp. It’s like the corner of Ponsonby Rd and Jervois Rd: it’s three lamps. A lot of sand died for those lamps, whole … Read more
This Throwback Thursday, ex-cinema usher Alex Casey watches an Aardman claymation built entirely around real conversations between real foyer girls. You will know Aardman Animations now for the dynamic moon-eating duo Wallace or Gromit, or perhaps, for the more culturally unrefined, the screaming toilet slugs of Flushed Away. They’ve really done it all – Chicken … Read more
With his predictions going hugely awry for the last few weeks, Duncan Greive decided to take some time out from the noble task of power ranking. Spending the long weekend in Ohakune, he meditated next to the giant carrot – hoping to gain the strength to be able to see anything promising in the dark … Read more
The weary few remaining Spinoff knights meet at the television roundtable to discuss week 11 on X Factor NZ Talia Smith on Milky Bar Broad I have finally decided who Steve Broad/Bored is and I am bloody happy because this mystery has been plaguing me for weeks. He is the grown up version of the … Read more
A couple of weeks ago I was asked to write a short piece about my favourite X Factor contestant Lili. In the piece (which actually turned out to be very long) I retold the story of the first time she spoke to me. I’m no great writer and as I was writing it, I felt … Read more