Aaron Smith’s career is in a steep decline. Hayden Donnell takes a deep dive into the toll having sex has taken on the once-masterful halfback’s career. Aaron Smith was dropped from the All Blacks’ starting line-up yesterday. The announcement felt inevitable. A long time coming. A mercy delivered to a broken man. It’s easy to … Read more
Deep in the bowels of the Internet, thousands of pitiful men are embroiled in a heated debate over the merits of two virtual women from the video game The Witcher 3. Hayden Donnell, a loser from Mt Albert, writes about how he almost became one of them. The beautiful gift of freewill, granted to all human beings, … Read more
For a moment it looked like the government might be seeing sense on Auckland’s transport demands. But the volcanic response to a Mt Roskill light rail proposal suggests the road obsession remains, writes Hayden Donnell. On the weekend, Labour proposed fast-tracking a $1.4 billion light rail route to Mt Roskill as part of its by-election … Read more
Donald Trump may be enveloping the US in his godforsaken embrace, but is he also ruining New Zealand? Hayden Donnell talks to Tayyaba Khan about being a Muslim in the age of Trump. Most of us are living in fear of a Donald Trump presidency. If you don’t inhabit one of the Republican states imprisoned … Read more
Phil Goff just completed the first important act of his mayoralty: picking his leadership team. Did he screw it up? And how long must Penny Hulse pay for Len Brown’s doodle? Hayden Donnell investigates. Forget Donald Trump. He’s already sliding down the sewer drain to Loserville. It’s time to refocus your attention on the only … Read more
This can either read as a huge list of thank you notes to those who joined the fight for Auckland’s soul, or if you’re Richard Burton or Mike Lee, a list of enemy collaborators. The War For Auckland began as a dark kernel of Duncan Greive’s rage. Our Spinoff Net Tsar spent most of 2016 … Read more
Hayden Donnell recently speculated on the meaning of a leaked internal memo from Stuff.co.nz. Today the site’s editor Patrick Crewdson tells him why he’s not really a slave to Mark Zuckerberg. Before I begin, here’s a haphazard, non-complete listicle of great journalism being carried out in mainstream New Zealand commercial media. 1. Everything by Stuff … Read more
A top-level Fairfax memo has somehow found its way into the hands of youth web tool The Spinoff. We picked it apart for clues as to the future of journalism. About a week ago, we received an email originally sent out to editorial staff at Stuff.co.nz. It was filled with intrigue, Facebook, slightly concerning editorial policy, … Read more
Hayden Donnell identifies the people who did well, and the ones who got massively owned, in the Auckland local elections. Winners Chlöe “22” Swarbrick Chlöe Swarbrick, whose campaign cost roughly the same as the Goff campaign’s cheese budget, came third with nearly 27,000 votes. Despite being a complete political novice, Swarbrick beat out John Palino, who … Read more
When rugby players make catastrophic screw ups, their bosses like to smooth things over with the public by taking away key learnings. We stole their method and took some of our own lessons out of the Aaron Smith sex toilet scandal engulfing New Zealand. 1. Having sex in a toilet is a romantic experience Nothing … Read more
Hayden Donnell pays tribute to the brave men and women who sat through four awful weeks of the Colin Craig defamation trial. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” – Edmund Burke “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” – Jesus “Welcome to the black parade” … Read more
Wait, stop the party – the Unitary Plan isn’t actually in the clear yet. Hayden Donnell reports on how a cluster of anti-change campaigners is holding the whole thing up. It was meant to be over. The Unitary Plan was through. After five years of deliberation, the council had concluded that the people who live … Read more
Forget transport and housing policy. Hayden Donnell dons his sorting hat to uncover the only info on the Auckland mayoral candidates that truly matters. We’ve found out a lot of personal stuff about the Auckland mayoral candidates during this heart-stopping election campaign. Her Warship Penny Bright cleans her hoardings with senior nappies. John Palino knows … Read more
Why is there a Swarbrick-shaped hole in the Herald’s 23-page election guide? Hayden Donnell has a whinge. The Herald’s recent local body election guide is mostly unremarkable. There are interviews with the main mayoral contenders. An obligatory trudge through the wards. An even more obligatory trudge through the regions. One piece blaming uncool political candidates … Read more
Auckland’s housing market is now ministerially sanctioned as ‘out of control’. Hayden Donnell spoke to Chris Minty from Saba about whether apartments are the answer. Auckland’s house prices just reached $1 million on average. As milestones go, it’s like your first catastrophic break-up, or turning 40: no-one feels that good about it. The Government now … Read more
Mark Watson’s radio segment Controversy Corner aka I’m Not Racist But… has been cancelled, but is he a changed man? Let’s briefly check in to Radio Sport’s most un-PC disc jockey. Last time I checked in on Mark Watson, he was recording a “Worst-Of New Zealand Homophobia, Sexism and Racism” compilation with his friend Kieran Smyth. … Read more
NZ Rugby hoped this week to draw a line under the scandal around the Chiefs behaviour at an end-of-season function. Fine, but we just have a few nagging, planet-sized questions, writes Hayden Donnell. Where is the report? Does it exist? Where is it? Just about all we’ve heard about this extensive report is from a … Read more
Vic Crone’s campaign launch was a wild bacchanal of potentially dodgy drink gifting and sober transport spending promises. Hayden Donnell went along to embrace the chaos. Her campaign launch had barely begun and Vic Crone was already dancing on the edge of the law. The mayoral candidate was giving away free drinks to everyone who … Read more
In an interview on The Nation, Nick Smith said he wants to make houses more affordable without actually making them cheaper. Hayden Donnell weighs in, with the help of Ben Thomas, on the two contradictory versions of the Housing Minister. Here’s a list of things worth $1 million: 1. Three black market kidneys 2. Two private islands in … Read more
Apartments: long has the debate raged over whether building them would destroy Auckland. Today a special Spinoff pictorial exposé can reveal they’re already here – and loads of them are fantastic. Photography by Rebecca Zephyr Thomas. Story based on research by Catherine Smith. Nothing scares a certain kind of veteran Aucklander more than an apartment. … Read more
CONTENT WARNING: The following post contains information that may ruin your life. Are you standing? I’m going to need you to sit down. Set aside any hot liquids. Swallow any large morsels of food. Make sure there are no sharp objects nearby. Are you ready? Are you sure? I have some terrible news. The K in … Read more
Hayden Donnell heads out to the leafy suburbs, to see how the new Unitary Plan is being received by those who were so furious about it earlier this year. He found them oddly becalmed. Well, most of them. Last time I saw the residents of Kohimarama, Mission Bay and Glendowie, they were yelling angrily at the … Read more
A shock hero has risen up at the Unitary Plan hearings. Hayden Donnell spent the day watching the drama unfold. Today’s Unitary Plan hearing was held in a parallel universe. Up was down. Right was left. A group of elderly people were wearing warpaint – though it turned out they were environmental campaigners, not furious Boomers defending their land. There are … Read more
Who smashes their opponents with the biggest plan amendments? Who has the most insanely sensible policy platforms? Who has a sixth sense when it comes to acing urban planning? We dusted off the Spinoff’s loyal and 100% objective format to appraise the 20 councillors and mayor – elected by just 34% of eligible voters – … Read more
Amazing political news: a grand coalition was brokered on the Unitary Plan. You just might have missed it because it was signed off in the witching hour on Prime TV. August 3, 2016: the day peace broke out in New Zealand politics. After decades of bickering, sniping, and releasing lists of questions no-one will answer, our … Read more
The new and improved Unitary Plan is a slap in the face to our anti-density councillors and their ashen-faced supporters. We plucked out a handful of graphs that really tell the story. There was a lot of monotone droning at Auckland Council’s briefing on its new Recommended Unitary Plan. We were told about PAUPs, MHUs, and THAs. Feasible … Read more
We found the the evil goblin sabotaging Auckland’s future. It’s an adorable cat who lives in a bus stop in Northcote Point. Why is it so hard to make good things happen in Auckland? Every positive project proposed for the city seems to have to hack through a horde of perma-frowning objectors. Everyone from Mayor … Read more
It’s the eye-pop has been talked about more than just about any other TV segment in New Zealand history. But one crucial voice has stayed silent about it, until now. Hayden Donnell talks to Thingee about the on-screen medical nightmare that changed his life forever. It started out like any other Son of a Gunn segment. Jason was prattling … Read more
Hayden Donnell spoke to the captain of New Zealand’s only gay rugby team – the NZ Falcons – about the worst 10 minutes of sports radio in history, and what the NZRU and the All Blacks can do to make things better. On Monday, Mark Watson announced Controversy Corner is no more. By all accounts, … Read more