Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 6 – A Cake From the Spirit World

Has a seemingly sweet and kind gesture from primary school students cursed every contestant on The Block to hell? And more importantly, has it had any effect whatsoever on the Power Rankings? 1. (Last Week: 1) Brooke & Mitch – House 4 Despite investing heavily in The Block NZ’s first glass-encased outdoor television, Brooke and Mitch’s … Read more

Television: “A Show for the People” – Witnessing the End of Homai Te Pakipaki’s Māori Karaoke

Homai Te Pakipaki has been a mainstay every Friday night on Māori Television, encouraging people from all walks to life to “bring your keyboard and your mates for a jam”. José Barbosa went behind the scenes during the Grand Final, before the karaoke show shuts down after nine glorious years. The first time I watched Homai Te … Read more

Television: Why the My Kitchen Rules Porn Story Wasn’t a Story at All

An exposé of a perfectly legal former job exposed the hypocrisy with which we treat both reality TV stars and women, says Alex Casey Over the weekend Stuff revealed that Katrina from My Kitchen Rules NZ was once paid to pose in pornographic photos. As @johubris noted on Twitter, this really wasn’t a news story: TVNZ publicists were … Read more

Television: Monitor – Graduating From Breaking Bad to Brooding Ballet Could Be Harder Than it Looks

Aaron Yap reviews Flesh and Bone, the new drama from Breaking Bad writer Moira Walley-Beckett, and asks if it lives up to its lofty predecessor.  To consider Flesh and Bone worthy of your time, especially in an ever-crowded market of dark cable dramas, some management of expectations is advisable. Not every new show can claim, … Read more

Television: Shortland Street Power Rankings – Sprinkles of Love Fall on Ferndale

Tara Ward brings you this week’s Shortland Street Power Rankings, including Virginia’s man-eating, Lucy’s woeful pikelets and Ferndale’s latest ill-thought-out engagement. 1) Virginia celebrates her divorce from Drew by shagging him senseless Sit back, girls, and let Auntie Virginia teach you this week’s life lesson. Recently spurned by the love of your life? Exhausted by a lengthy … Read more

Television: From Naked Alien Twins to Demonic Possessions – Days of Our Lives Stars Share Their Favourite Storylines

Raise a glass of scotch for Days of Our Lives this weekend, as the surreal soap will be celebrating its whopper 50th anniversary on Sunday November 8. I was lucky enough to visit the studio set in LA the other week, and got talk to a few of the cast members who have survived the show through … Read more

Television: The Spinoff’s TV Week – Ominous Reviews, Trans-Tasman Columns and Rugby News

Bringing together the best, worst and weirdest TV moments of the week, including the mighty All Blacks parade and the mockumentary charms of The Muppets.  Everybody Loves Hils and Mike The brave and humble New Zealand Men’s Rugby Team returned home from a successful World Cup campaign on Wednesday, and almost every member of the … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 5 – Sleeveless Shirts and Strategic Scoring

In a week marred by a despicable act by Brooke and Mitch and rescued by the thrilling plank challenge, Calum Henderson wonders if anyone can possibly topple the three-peat room reveal winners. 1. (Last Week: 1) Brooke & Mitch – House 4 With a crushing inevitability, Master Bedroom & Ensuite Bathroom Week provided a third … Read more

Television: New to Lightbox in November – Broken Ballerinas, Freaky Siblings and… The Hoff

A sponsored post listing the new shows to hit Lightbox this November, including Hasselhoff’s return, brooding ballet drama and one of Norway’s biggest shows in 2015. Hoff the Record (available now) Fans of Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Comeback will enjoy Hoff the Record, starring Baywatch legend David Hasselhoff, 30 years after Knight Rider. The series follows him as … Read more

Television: My Kitchen Rules NZ Power Rankings, Week Four – Have You Ever Grabbed a Cactus?

Alex Casey delivers her power rankings for week four of My Kitchen Rules NZ, including the villainous rise of the Aucklanders and their Spongebob-inspired polenta. What an excellent week, full of interesting knives, warm biscuits and province-based barbs. But something isn’t sitting right with me. Ever since Group Two have made a huge hoopla out of … Read more

Television: Swapping News for Reality – Looking Back on a Bad Year for TV3

With yesterday’s terrible news about flagship current affairs show 3D, Duncan Greive assesses the MediaWorks’ strategy, a year on from its flashy relaunch. Yesterday, at the well-known bad news dump slot of 4.56pm, I received this via email: 3D is TV3’s flagship current affairs show – the place where its best journalists go to do their most … Read more

Television: A Week Of It – Gorging on American TV Trash From a Lonely Hotel Room

Alex Casey reports back from the US, after watching all of the terrible television that the land of the free could provide.  I don’t know if I’m just lazy, but I have always maintained that one of the best ways to get a vibe for a new country is to do two very basic things: go to … Read more

Weird Al Yankovic – How to Get Your Novelty Album to Number One

The scene is the set of a craptastic public access TV channel. A woodwork demonstration with a table saw is underway as the cameras roll. The demonstrator is a gangly, seemingly spaced out man in white overalls; he’s being interviewed by a young guy with a mop of permed hair and glasses. Overalls says “There’s … Read more

Television: What Do Breaking Bad and Ballet Have in Common? A Field Guide to Flesh and Bone

Alex Casey introduces Flesh and Bone, a new drama exclusive to our sponsors Lightbox, and explains why Breaking Bad fans are about to get obsessed with the ballet. What’s the story? Ballet ain’t all pirouettes and glamorous costumes, as we find out within moments of Flesh and Bone opening. Claire is a gifted young dancer who has escaped … Read more

Television: The Daily Show – Should We Climb Aboard Trevor Noah’s Late Night Ark?

Finlay Macdonald assesses Trevor Noah’s first month at The Daily Show desk, and asks if Jon Stewart’s replacement has earned his hosting stripes. Timing is everything in comedy, and real life could certainly have picked a better time to interrupt Trevor Noah’s flow. Between only his first and second appearances as Jon Stewart’s replacement, a lunatic … Read more

Television: Shortland Street Power Rankings – The Adventures of Spurious George

Tara Ward brings you this week’s Shortland Street Power Rankings, including Boyd’s doodacky and Harper’s baby blues. 1) Dayna gives it a crack with Knob the Builder Call off the search: Dayna found The Knob. The Knob is actually George the Labourer, a doctor visiting Ferndale on a working visa. George is from England, which is … Read more

Stevie TV: On the Despair of Watching YouTube Videos Set in Tropical Fish Tanks

 Steve Braunias plumbs the depths of Youtube for guidance on fish hygiene.  This is what I’ve been watching. I don’t know her name but she’s world famous. Her 5min:54sec instructional video on how to siphon water from an fish aquarium has 617,179 views – not all of them mine. I watch it during the day. I … Read more

Television: Halloween Special – Mataku: The M Files

“Kia ora, I’m Temuera Morisson, and welcome to Mataku; chilling tales of the unexplained and the unexpected. Join me on a journey, through the supernatural world…of the Māori.” Mataku is basically the Maori X Files, and it’s a national embarrassment that this show isn’t every part as much cultural canon as The Lord of the … Read more

Television: The Spinoff’s TV Week – Natural Woes, Wild Gaming Fantasies and Creepy Live Burials

Bringing together the TV moments of the week, including the final of New Zealand’s greatest karaoke show and Suzanne Paul’s last advertorial. Contributions by Calum Henderson and Alex Casey. The Last Light of Suzanne’s Natural Advertorial Glow New Zealand’s most beloved peddler of health, fashion and beauty products has filmed her final advertorial for Good … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 4 – Mark Richardson Scores a Duck

In a week dominated by Sally Ridge-inspired arts & craft challenges, Calum Henderson assesses the hopes and dreams of the increasingly sick, tired and furious Block NZ contestants. 1. (Last Week: 1) Brooke & Mitch – House 4 The Brooke and Mitch juggernaut rolled on through Living Room Week. The pair’s Heartland conservatism and attention to … Read more

Television: Throwback Thursday – The Best of Masters of Horror From Rat People to Killer Cats

Masters of Horror brought together the most morphed minds in horror to direct a series of one-hour TV specials. Aaron Yap lists the essential episodes to scream your way through this Halloween.  The story begins like a boilerplate slasher movie scenario – with a meta twist. In 2002, Mick Garris, director of many a Stephen King adaptation, invites … Read more

Television: My Kitchen Rules NZ Power Rankings, Week Three – Will Possums Go Mainstream?

Alex Casey delivers her power rankings for week three of My Kitchen Rules NZ, including Paul and Laurence’s sad departure and a rare possum solution from Kimberley and Brooke. I can’t believe we’ve already lost New Zealand’s sweethearts Paul and Laurence. Despite Paul whipping out his finest horse impression, it wasn’t enough to keep our … Read more

Television: Group Think – The Scariest Television Shows From Our Childhood

What is the scariest television viewing this Halloween? Once you are done with all of the on-trend prestigious horror shows, take a trip down memory lane to the darkest corners of your childhood telly-watching.  Halloween is creeping up this week, which could well get you in the mood to endure some scary television shows. The likes … Read more

Monitor: “This Thing’s Only Getting Bigger” – Why Fargo is Still Far From the Woodchipper

For monitor this week, Aaron Yap applauds the sophomore effort of Fargo, and explains how the second season has created an even richer and more nuanced world than the first. It doesn’t seem that long ago that the idea of adapting Fargo for TV sounded kinda lame. What? Not Fargo. Why would anyone want a TV … Read more

TV: Shortland Street Power Rankings, 26 October – Love in a Hardware Store?

Tara Ward brings you this week’s Shortland Street Power Rankings, highlighted by Ferndale’s own Rawshark, Dayna finding love in a hardware store and a diagnostic demon in ED. 1. Damo is Dick of the Week™ Damo was batshit crazy this week and Shortland Street was all the better for it. Jealous of Chris’ superior wealth, … Read more

Television: The Spinoff’s TV Week – HDPA Buys a Gun, Peter Williams Rides a Glideboard

HDPA gets fired up over firearm rules It started with a hidden camera sting exposing a dodgy real estate practice, a fearsome Heather Du Plessis-Allan doorknock and Duncan Garner cutting off a home detention bracelet. TV3’s Story returned to its early roots on Wednesday with its boldest bit of proactive stunt journalism yet, when Heather … Read more

Television: The Block NZ Power Rankings Week 3 – The Return of the Rhombus Daybed

The villas are being fitted with expensive and unnecessary fireplaces and Dinner Wars hangs precariously in the balance – Calum Henderson ranks the Block NZ teams going into the break in living room week. 1. (Last Week: 2) – Brooke & Mitch – House 4 A low cloud of inevitability rolled over the Sandringham / … Read more

Television: Guilty Pleasures – The Call of the Lipstick Jungle

Sam Brooks journeys deep into the heart of Lipstick Jungle, the lesser-known Candace Bushnell TV adaptation which followed Sex and the City. If you mention Lipstick Jungle to somebody, you’ll probably get one of two answers: 1. Is that the one with Lucy Liu? 2. What is Lipstick Jungle? To answer both questions: 1. No! … Read more

Television: I Got Next – The Story of Funny Girls

Funny Girls began life as a talent development plot hatched between New Zealand on Air and TV3. On Friday it debuts as one of the most hotly anticipated comedies in recent memory. Duncan Greive watched its creation. It’s late afternoon on a Wednesday in early October. Outside commuter traffic crawls along Khyber Pass; one side … Read more