Tara Ward does the unthinkable: turning on her television and looking for nothing but sweet, sweet ads. Television advertisments are often overlooked and misunderstood — until now, my friends. I love a challenge like I love a Coronation Street weekend omnibus, so when someone suggested I spend an entire day watching only commercials, I was … Read more
Struggling to make it to September without new Outlander episodes? Tara Ward offers some suggestions to see you through. Somebody alert the authorities, because Droughtlander has set upon us like a rampant case of eighteenth-century smallpox. It’s that tortuous time between Outlander seasons, when last year’s Parisian double-agent escapades seem but a distant memory, yet … Read more
Nigel Latta and John Campbell are going to lead New Zealand into a brave new future in TVNZ’s multi-night extravaganza What Next? Tara Ward does the questionnaire that will decide our fate. If you like to spend your evenings staring into the abyss and worrying about what the future holds, then TVNZ 1’s new show … Read more
Shortland’s Street big blowout 25th anniversary might be over, but we’re still in the mood to celebrate. From births to deaths, with hostages, heists and cliffhangers aplenty in between, Tara Ward counts down the most-watched Shorty episodes EVER. There’s one more Shortland Street birthday tribute to make before we blow out the candles and take … Read more
Tara Ward recounts the surreal experience of being invited to Chris Warner’s intimate 50th birthday shindig – eruptions and all. Last year Chris Warner celebrated his birthday by having sex on his couch. To everything there is a season, for one year later I found myself perched on the same sofa, drinking gallons of pink … Read more
With Dance Moms supervillian Abby Lee Miller heading to the slammer for income fraud, Tara Ward puts her on trial for a few more crimes. Abby Lee Miller reckons “when a parent opens their mouth, they are ruining their child”. It’s advice to live by, and the reason why all parents should be locked in a … Read more
Breaking news: All Star Family Feud just proved that romance is not dead. Nay, it is alive and kicking its way through a warm trans-Tasman current of love while wearing a new pair of Orewa Life Saving Club budgie smugglers. Praise be to Eros or whatever TV god decided to throw The Bachelor NZ and Married at … Read more
Tara Ward breaks down the most memorable disguises from spy drama The Americans. If you like your drama with more layers than a hot lasagne, then serve yourself up a giant slice of The Americans. Set in 1980s Washington DC, Elizabeth and Philip Jennings are your typical American family: two well-mannered children, a beautiful home … Read more
How will Three add some Kiwi flavour to the unmissable televised trainwreck that is Married at First Sight? Tara Ward has some suggestions. Ladies, drag that net curtain off the window. Fellas, you might like to wash and condition your facial hair, because a new reality tv franchise is about to hit our shores in a Cyclone … Read more
Tara Ward drops her shortbread in fright as a brand new trailer for Outlander season three arrives out of nowhere. Praise be to all things mythical and bagpipey, for the latest Outlander preview dropped yesterday like a hot bannock onto a dusty floor. The fevered sighs of malnourished Outlander fans reverberated around the world, much … Read more
Tara Ward goes on a wild Easter hunt to find any half-decent free-to-air television over the long weekend. This Easter’s television viewing is as bleak as a hollow egg that some selfish bastard already pinched the chocolate buttons out of. If you’re relying on terrestrial television this holiday weekend — stuck in a remote bach … Read more
Everything Tara Ward knows, she has learned from Shane Cortese and the Nothing Trivial gang. Here she outlines the 10 stages of pub quiz grief. Watching three seasons of Nothing Trivial broadened my general knowledge more than the time I fell into a Buzzfeed Quiz vortex of time and space and spent seven hours discovering … Read more
Sometimes New Zealand broadcast television feels like a wasteland, so we set our weekly columnist Tara the tallest, most terrifying task imaginable: recapping The News. The 6 o’clock news bulletin is a time-honoured tradition, like death and taxes and only finding one sock when you definitely need two. The News has always been there, yet who … Read more
Tara Ward watched Māori TV’s bumper compilation of wild moments from All Talk With Anika Moa last night, and reports back with the cream of the crop. The classic ‘Shag/Marry/Kill’ game never gets old, especially when one of the options is dry humping the Briscoes Lady. This was the quandary Alison Mau faced on last night’s … Read more
Tara Ward gives a tearful farewell to Deirdre, the bespectacled Black Eyed Pea-fanatic of Coronation Street. Coronation Street is set in a surburban netherworld where trams derail into corner shops and serial murderers drive their families into the canal. Why the heck anyone lives there is beyond me, but Deirdre Barlow loved it so much … Read more
Our in-house animal reality TV expert Tara Ward reviews Keeping Up With the Kattarshians, a reality series which is about exactly that you think. When the world turns to hell in a handcart, it makes sense that we find solace in the peculiarities of the animal kingdom. Actually, it makes no sense at all, because … Read more
Tara Ward watches in horror as Jono and Ben return and go live for the first time. Jono and Ben returned to our screens last night, promising a ‘star-studded, prank-filled show’ filmed — wait for it — LIVE TO AIR. Jono and Ben were more excited than the time my toddler found half a chocolate biscuit … Read more
It’s a not a wedding of two complete strangers unless there’s a party of weirdos at the reception. Tara Ward reviews the most memorable guests (so far) on Married At First Sight. There’s nothing better than spending Valentine’s Day watching a Married At First Sight marathon. Forget all that love and flowers bullshit, give me six … Read more
Tara Ward checks in with The Cafe and finds a hidden gem in Advertorial Holly, the woman who can talk turkey necks like no other. Some people hate advertorials with a passion usually reserved for pineapple on pizza or Mike Hosking’s ripped jeans. Breaking news, you miserable bastards: advertorials are television gold. Which would you … Read more
Tara Ward watches the new promo video for TV3’s new 7pm show The Project, and is overwhelmed with pumpkins, backflips and Jesse Mulligan’s cha-cha. Some might say that a song and dance routine has no place in the serious world of current affairs. To them, I kick-ball-change and pirouette in their face, for the promo … Read more
Before the return of Suits to Lightbox tonight, Tara Ward spends a day embodying the spirit of the slick, emotionally unavailable lawyer Harvey Specter. Harvey Specter from Suits is a living legend. Despite putting up more emotional walls than a mansion of Bachelor rejects, his shirts are always well pressed, he has beautiful hair, and he … Read more
Tara Ward stares into Leanne’s crystal ball and makes her predictions for the coming year in Ferndale. Like a drug resistant virus that refuses to be eradicated, Shortland Street made a triumphant return to our screens last night. The show kicked off its 25th year by presenting us with a gaping wound of human suffering and … Read more
Sam Heughan is farmer, fugitive and all round Scottish spunkrat Jamie Fraser in fantasy-drama Outlander, the second season of which arrived exclusively to Lightbox on April 10 this year. Longtime fan Tara Ward swallowed her nerves and spoke with Sam ahead of the premiere (please note, contains spoilers from season one). Originally posted March 24, 2016 Last … Read more
Tara Ward pours a sherry and peers back through the archives of a holiday institution: the Queen’s Christmas message. Her Majesty the Queen’s Christmas Message is perfectly timed for New Zealand audiences. Come hell or high water, at 6.50pm each Christmas Day Her Majesty drops her hot take on the year’s events, while we — … Read more
It’s Christmas in Ferndale, which means thing have to go off a cliff one way or another. Tara Ward counts down the top 10 moments from last night’s finale. The Shortland Street 2016 cliffhanger hit our screens last night, and expectations were higher than Kirsty Knight’s fringe in the early ’90s. Alas, the television event of … Read more
Tara Ward has been mercilessly power ranking Shortland Street for the entire year of 2016. Here she collates her favourite moments, including bouncy castle woes and rude fridge magnets. Ding dong merrily on high, the Shortland Street Christmas cliffhanger is nearly here. Before we dangle our weary bodies over the cliff in readiness for tonight’s climactic episode, … Read more
Tara Ward assembles her power rankings for Shortland Street, including Chris’ mane, Magic Mo and whatever good thing Damo has decided to do this week. 1) Chris is a harbinger of doom with amazing hair Not only did Chris return to Ferndale without Rachel, but he bought himself a new phone that he couldn’t operate. … Read more
Tara Ward does the unthinkable, and binge-watches 22 episodes of guinea pig dates on TVNZ Ondemand. It’s not often you enjoy a guinea pig’s quest for true love. Hardly ever, in fact. So when the televisual universe vomits up a tiny nugget of unexpected joy like Holly and Luke’s First Dates, we must grab it … Read more
Tara Ward delivers her Shortland Street power rankings for last week, including sexy fish and chips and the return of some old friends. 1) Leanne sails back into Ferndale Our favourite triage admissions clerk sailed her ship back into Ferndale’s dank and dirty waters this week. While Leanne was bright and shiny from the splendours … Read more