Joseph Harper joins a gang, goes marauding and gets surprisingly emo playing the tabletop fantasy role-player Dungeons & Dragons 4e. I started playing Dungeons & Dragons about six months ago. Our group are all beginners apart from our Dungeon Master, who is an old hand and is German. I play as a 160-year-old gnome named … Read more
Joseph Harper faces the ghosts of a childhood past, and the difficulties of touch-screen gaming, in an iPhone port of Oddworld staple Munch’s Oddysee. Ah, another week of sneaking into the toilet at work so I can play a game on my iPhone. This week I played Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee. To be honest, it’s kind of … Read more
Joseph Harper reviews a different game every week in a brand new column. First up: Neko Atsume. I started playing a new smartphone game this week. I’m probably the target market for these kind of things via vaguely addictive personality and enjoying the patronising simplicity of the kind of games that exist on this platform. I’ve … Read more
Ever wondered why has a horse never won an ESPY? Joseph Harper spends a vexed afternoon watching the surreal awards ceremony, and reports back with his findings. Yesterday I watched the Excellence in Sports Performance Yearly Awards, aka the ESPYs. It was super weird. I’ve never watched the Halberg awards, but based on video highlights and pictures … Read more
After the final of X Factor NZ, Joseph Harper creates an interactive game that promises to be more challenging, fun and have higher production values than the competition itself. It’s been a long season of losing judges, murderers and clear winners as X Factor NZ slowly disintegrated week to week. But finally – here’s something … Read more
Joseph Harper uses his Playstation 2 version of The Sims to decide the final outcome of The Bachelor NZ. Speculation is rife going into the final week of The Bachelor NZ. All three remaining bachelorettes seem to have a crack at the title of Art Green’s girlfriend. Alysha has the nice accent. Matilda has a nice … Read more
Joseph Harper splits a Rekorderlig with three members of The Hunter’s Club and finds out why their show stylistically slaughters the rest of their outdoor TV competitors. You notice pretty quickly that The Hunter’s Club doesn’t look like our more familiar hunting and fishing shows. Where shows like Outdoors with Geoff often feel procedural – … Read more
Joseph Harper responds to the outrageous revelations that Campbell Live may be on the outs. Tweet King and Herald media man John Drinnan dropped a bizarre and shocking shocker on us all this arvo with the revelation that Campbell Live could be facing the chop. Worse still, it could be replaced with a daily dose … Read more
In this special Bad edition of Throwback Thursday, Joseph Harper looks back at Bob ‘Saul’ Odenkirk’s alternative comedy career. // Before he joined the cast of Breaking Bad as unscrupulous attorney Saul Goodman, Bob Odenkirk carved himself out a broad and varied career in the alternative undercurrents of American comedy. Stints with Second City, Saturday Night Live, … Read more
For years Joseph Harper has been nurturing an obstinate theory: HBO’s mostly unwatched comedy Eastbound and Down is essentially the same show as Breaking Bad, only a whole lot better. 2013 was a big year on the telly. It saw in the end of one of my favourite shows to ever drag its way onto a television screen. … Read more
SURVIVOR SAN JUAN DEL SUR BLOOD VS WATER 2 POWER RANKINGS Another season of the best show in the world is in the can and it’s bloody great news that we have an absolute stunner of a winner to add to the pantheon of Sole Survivors. Natalie played one hell of a game that felt … Read more
Survivor San Juan Del Sur: Blood Vs Water 2 Power Rankings Got a double dose for you today because they weirdly screened a double episode in America and now FOUR is a few weeks behind the eight ball (which is bloody annoying by the way!). This season is continuing to do a great job of … Read more
Joseph Harper recaps the KFC Fight For Life, including the powerful defeat of Ula from Shortland Street by Millie Elder Holmes. // I watched the KFC Fight for Life in the comfortable confines of Ponsonby’s ritziest sports bar, The Cavalier on College Hill. The crowd was mostly well-heeled locals in open collars and bedazzled wedges … Read more
Survivor San Juan Del Sur: Blood vs Water 2 Power Rankings Episode 10 11) A Five Star Challenge The immunity challenge in this week’s episode was amazing. I feel like it’s a good watch – even if you haven’t seen any Survivor in your whole damn life. Almost all of the great moments from this episode … Read more
Survivor San Juan Del Sur Power Rankings Episode 9 12) The Move/Me Getting Owned This is me watching Tribal Council. What a shocker! To say that this is the best episode we’ve had so far is an understatement. Jaclyn and Jon’s questionable move pretty much saved this season. So I guess that’s good, but I’m … Read more
Survivor San Juan Del Sur Power Rankings: Episode 8 10) Player of the Week: Jaclyn Shout out to Jaclyn. Aside from sporting the weirdest flared pants I’ve ever seen on Survivor, I thought she done good this week. I think going with Jeremy and Co. was a better move for her and Jon and it … Read more
Survivor San Juan Del Sur Power Rankings: Episode 7 11) Julie Rocker Quits the Game As someone who was cursed from birth in terms of Survivor eligibility via living in New Zealand and being too young to have potentially competed with dirty old Clarke Gayford on Treasure Island – I hate people who quit Survivor. Julie … Read more
This Throwback Thursday, Joe Harper unearths a radiant piece of discarded treasure from Community creator, Dan Harmon. // Long before Dan Harmon blossomed into the self-styled narcissist-genius responsible for Community and next level navel gazing, podcast masterpiece Harmontown, he made Heat Vision and Jack. The show was created in 1999 by Harmon and frequent collaborator … Read more
Survivor San Juan Del Sur Blood vs. Water 2 Power Rankings 12) Swag-factor 10 for Jeremy’s modified capri pants. The warrior achilles amirite? 11) Don’t Bring a Fake Idol to an Idol Fight Props to Dale for a spirited scramble but, to be honest, this wasn’t going down any other way. He sealed his fate … Read more
Survivor San Juan Del Sur Blood vs. Water 2 Power Rankings 14) Bald Jeremy Good look imho. 13) Survivor Copywriters Phoning it in “Are you tired of the long trek to the arena? Are you tired of battling loved ones? Then get ready to get tired. It’s time to go back to the arena” That’s the … Read more
SURVIVOR SAN JUAN DEL SUR BLOOD VS WATER 2 POWER RANKINGS 14) TERRIBLE GAMEPLAY I thought the orange tribe was bad. This was way worse. This blue team has maybe the worst strategic since the first season of Survivor. Almost everyone was bad. Old mate Keith, who was on the rise, really screwed the pooch. … Read more
Joseph Harper falls deep into the pit of fake Parks and Recreation band, Mouse Rat. // I always loved a good fake band. Whether it was Doug’s beloved Beets, Uncle Jesse’s unbelievably sensual contributions, Landry’s borderline unlistenable Chirstian Metal outfit, Crucifictorious, or even Drive Shaft, with their surprisingly believable take on waning Brit Pop. All … Read more
SURVIVOR SAN JUAN DEL SUR: BLOOD VERSUS WATER 2 POWER RANKINGS 17) NIGHT ROCKER Rocker owned this ep, so it only makes sense to start with the fact that Johnny Rock looked absolutely terrifying in night vision mode. 16) JULIE ROCKER Yeah. On the surface, Julie Rock has had a bit of a rough time, what with her … Read more
Having already mercilessly extinguished one interesting and important broadcast outlet, Paul “Death Star” Henry has moved on to his next whimsical planetary demolition with the announcement of his new cross-platform extravaganza. I guess it makes sense to move Paul Henry back to breakfast slot, given his core viewership probably tends toward an early bedtime. There … Read more
The first couple eps of Survivor San Juan Del Sur: Blood vs Water 2 played out as you’d expect. Pretty low-key. Mostly getting to know the key components. In episode one the blue team won both challenges and the orange team kicked off twinnie Nadiya. It was a fine, if a little unspectacular ep, where … Read more
As reality TV pioneer Survivor opens a mind-boggling 14th year, superfan Joseph Harper details its increasingly meta evolution in previewing season 29. // “If quick, I survive. If not quick, I am lost. This is “death.” – Sun Tzu, Ancient Chinese military strategist. “You got to hustle if you want to make a dollar. Everybody … Read more
Late Night Big Breakfast has produced some of the funniest and most bizarre New Zealand television this year. The quality should come as no surprise given the talented team behind it. Leigh Hart and Jeremy Wells have already established themselves as television funny men of note with their past efforts. For my money though, the … Read more
The Block viewers were in for a shocking shock at the end of last Thursday’s episode when it was revealed that Quinn and Ben are weirdly pregnant. Weird because they’re currently sleeping in what is essentially a highly-centralised Point Chev mini-slum. The Block’s best couple have obviously been enjoying their time under the tarpaulin. The pair don’t … Read more